Never Trust a Man Without a Horribly Embarrassing Secret

Josh comes home carrying two paper bags filled with groceries. "Honey, I'm home!" he calls out.

He's greeted by the sight of Beth, dressed quite business casual, looking very sternly at him. "Josh, when you get done with the groceries, we need to talk. And no, it can't wait. And no, your trick of seducing me before I can say anything about it isn't going to work this time!"

Josh is stunned silent, but he still gets the task of putting the groceries away before meekly returning to the living room. He sits down on the same couch that Beth is on, but he won't look her in the eye. Instead, he just stares a hole through the hardwood floor.

"Josh, I need you to answer me. Look at me", Beth says, reaching over to turn Josh's head so his eyes meet hers. "You didn't tell Dr. Penn about the time that you got me off in front of the freshmen, did you?"

Josh whispers "yes". But how does she know?

"So, that would explain the phone call I got from him an hour ago," Beth says, sounding a bit angrier than before. "Dr. Penn sounded distressed, and maybe he was kind of drunk, too. Josh, I can't believe you told him that! I don't go around telling people about our sex life, do I?"
"Except for Scott and Krissy and Sara and Jasper..." mumbles Josh.
"That's beside the point. Now look, Josh...I'm not as upset about that as I am about how you were confused about why you were the one who got three days of in-school suspension after we got caught. Didn't you hear all the kids freaking out after they all walked in on us? And you're in the psychiatrist's office talking about how you shouldn't have been punished because your hand wasn't down my jeans and that you didn't let me take my high-tops off before you started messing with me on the mats."
"Beth, didn't you like it? I know it's been over twenty years..."
"Josh, you're missing the point. And to answer your question, yes, I had fun that period, but we probably shouldn't have done it in an empty gym. We're adults here, Josh. I don't need distressed phone calls from professionals scolding us about what we do in our private lives. Now, there's something else..."

Josh's eyes immediately look down to the floor as his face turns blood red with humiliation. He seriously wanted to cry now. Meanwhile, Beth has reached for a FexEx envelope. She immediately withdraws some paperwork from it.

"Josh, look at me. You need to read these papers."
"Beth, just summarize what they're about! I'm getting a headache here!"
"Josh, this is from a lawyer representing eleven of those freshmen who got treated to our little makeout session back in high school. We're getting sued, Josh, because we apparently destroyed a bunch of innocent kids' minds and lives and they can't get over it!"

Josh slowly looks up and takes the legal papers from Beth...

1. After he gets done reading, Josh asks "We have a good lawyer, don't we?"
2. "Beth, this is from 'Dewey, Cheatum & Howe'. You got pranked, girl!"
3. Josh finishes reading, then tosses the paperwork in the garbage. He believes this somehow invalidates the lawsuit and he and Beth now don't have to go to court.
4. "I have an idea," Josh says.
5. Josh immediately proposes a counter solution. Beth refuses to hear it, since she knows that Josh's so-called brilliant idea is seducing all of the plaintiffs...

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