Funky Dollar Bill

He began to pace again, still feeling lonely. He didn't understand the comfortable teal sofas lining this room, or the boxed food in the corner, or the strangely inaccessible spiral staircase plunging through the ceiling and floor, but then again, who the hell did? He'd wondered a couple of times what he was doing here, but who was counting?

Bill sighed, shook his head, took two more aspirin washed down with bottled water, and decided to think hard about when it all went wrong, and why it had led him to this existance...

The 2 Good 4 Ya was notoriously difficult to get into. You couldn't just rely on your charm and the way you were dressed to get a pass from the bouncers, who were given strict orders to keep the "lamers" (usually starstruck tourists, or anyone who was just another suburban phony trying to crash the party) out. Anyone who tried to grease some palms usually found that cash thrown right back into their face. If they were lucky, they weren't physically thrown into the gutter. With that said, even someone like Bill Murray had a little trouble getting reservations for that one night.

There was one unexpected visitor to the club that night: Scott Chen. His misadventures had brought him to Hollywood for the first time in his life, and he was anxious to make an impression. Scott wasn't interested in becoming a star, rather, he sought to exploit his newly found talent of seducing women [69968] on some of the finest looking southern California women who were lucky to be admitted into the 2 Good 4 Ya. How did he get in? Quite simple, really. Several drunken suburbanites had raised such a fuss over being turned away that they started brawling with the bouncers. While the riot was underway, Scott quickly walked around the corner, past the fighting, and went straight into the club without even looking back once. Almost nobody saw him boldly walk in, and those who did were too overwhelmed by the fighting to notify anyone. By the time order was restored, with the instigators of the brawl all taken away in police cars, Scott's intrusion was forgotten completely. To be on the safe side, Scott did get his hand stamped!

Over the next several hours, Scott went to work, buying drinks, and hitting on women that looked like they would be interested. Scott's talents worked like a charm, as he ended up sleeping with five women in seven hours that evening. This did not go unnoticed to Bill Murray, who kept an eye on Scott from the moment he sprinted into the bar. At first it was the fact that Scott wasn't really dressed for the place caught the actor's attention, but when Murray kept seeing Scott walking hand in hand to a private room in the back with a different woman each time, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Bill was so stunned by Scott's game that he largely dropped out of the ongoing conversation going on at his table.

"Hey Bill, what's the matter with you?"
"Me? Oh, nothing. I'm just watching that character in the white T- shirt. He's picking up women and taking them into the '69 Room' like there's no tomorrow!"
"What, Bill, are you jealous?"
"Maybe. But I'm married, so I wouldn't be doing shit like that. I'm just wondering about this guy, that's all."

Finally, close to 2:30 in the morning, and after his fifth one-night stand of the night, Scott wandered slowly out of the 2 Good 4 Ya. Suddenly, at his table, Bill Murray stood up and started hastily making his way towards Scott.
"Bill! Where the hell are you going?"
"If it means anything to you, I've got to talk to this guy!"
"Come on, he's just some sex crazed creep! You don't want to talk to him!"
"Yes, I do!"
"Bill, wait!"

Scott stood on the street, his back turned away from the entrance. He had a brief argument with a bouncer who demanded to know how he had gotten in. Scott simply showed him the '2G4Y!' ink stamp on his hand, which got him off the hook. Now, he wondered if he should just call it a night. For once, Scott didn't have the energy for another nightcap. He started to slowly make his way down the boulevard, but Bill Murray's voice booming from behind him stopped Scott in his tracks: "Hey! HEY KID! Wait a second, man, I'd like to talk to you!"

Scott turned around, and found himself shocked by the sight of Bill Murray walking towards him. "Yeah, kid, I'm talking to you! Now, tell me, how the hell did you even get into that place?"
"Ummm, I kinda snuck in," Scott said quietly. The bouncers were still in earshot.
"Snuck in? Come on! You couldn't sneak into this place! You'd have an easier time gettin' into Fort Knox! You aren't going home, are you?"
"Well, I thought about it, but, I guess I can spare a few minutes. Did you need something?"
"Well, sure! Come back inside with me, kid, I wanna buy you a drink. Anything you like, money's no object!"

With that, Scott suddenly became Bill Murray's new buddy. They walked back inside, and after Bill went over to his original table to tell them that he was going to take a few minutes to talk to "the kid", he and Scott went into a quieter part of the club to talk. Scott, who had largely abandoned his birthname by this time, found himself identifying himself to the actor as "Scott Childers", and not Scott Chen. As the night went on, Scott mentioned the basketball riot he had been caught in the middle of during high school [72663], and Bill surprised him by saying that not only did he hear about it, but he saw the picture of Scott looking on as the rest of the players were in a big dogpile in the middle of the court.

Finally, close to sunrise, everyone went home. Before letting Scott go to wherever he was headed, Bill Murray gave him a business card. "It's been good talking to you, Scott. Oh, and if you ever need anything, buddy, don't hesitate to call. It can be a big problem, a money problem, or if you just need to rant for a few minutes. I'll get back to you ASAP!"
"Wow, thanks, Bill!"
"Don't mention it, kid. Take care of yourself."

Scott never forgot Murray's contact information, and only used it three times in a three year period, when he found himself completely overwhelmed by whatever was going on. However, this changed in 2001 after Scott left his cell phone where Josh Burbank could find it, and within moments, Bill Murray's private phone number was now in the possession of Josh, Sara, and Jasper; none of whom were given that information. So, for the past several years, Bill has had to deal with some bizarre calls from maniacs to his private line. Most of the time, he remained cordial, but there were a few times where he lost his cool.

And now, here he was, in their world.

1. Go upstairs.
2. Go downstairs.
3. Bill stays put, still nursing that headache.
4. Bill calls himself for advice.
5. Bill calls Scott for advice.

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