Time Paradox

The aspirin doesn't seem to be really cutting the headache. Bill considered rummaging around in the boxes at the end of the room for something stronger for a while, but decides it seems like entirely too much trouble.

He stares blankly at a crumpled piece of paper on the floor beside the sofa for a long time--whether for minutes or hours, he can't quite seem to tell. He doesn't have a watch handy, and time seems to pass strangely in this place.

Finally, he picks the piece of paper from the floor and slowly opens it. He sees the number on it, and in the depths of his depression, it actually takes him several seconds to realize that it was HIS number, the one this merry band of raving frootloops calls whenever they get in a tight. He laughs bitterly. The ultimate joke--the batteries in his cellphone have been dead for months, and while there's a landline phone on the coffee table that apparently works, no one ever answers regardless of what number he calls.

Except...he's almost certain that that piece of paper wasn't there only a few minutes before. It hadn't been there the last time he'd paced the floor...had it?

He stares at the phone for several moments.

"Oh no. No, no no. Can't be," he says slowly as the glimmer of an idea takes root. "It's too stupid to work. It's too FUCKING stupid." He stopped and sighed. "And..I'm gonna do it anyway."

He picked up the phone and slowly tapped in the number. He puts the handset to his ear and waits, listening to it ring on the other end.

It picks up on the seventh ring. "Hello?" he hears...his voice.

"This is insane," Murray says, wonderingly. "This is absolutely, completely, totally insane.

Murray is sitting on the couch, staring at the handset blankly. "Hello?" he hears.

Okaaaaaay...it's him. Ten years into the future. But...him. Okay. Fine. He can deal with that. He survived working with Chevy Chase, for Chrissakes. This is a cakewalk. "Uh..no. No, I'm good. I'm good with this," he says into the handset. "So, let's just go with it. After all, I'm talking to the person I trust the most, right?"

1. Bill tells him where to find the Infinity Gauntlet. It's the cheap-looking thing in the plastic box next to the Hulk Hands in one of the largest boxes.
2. There's a keypad hidden in one wall. It opens a door to a hidden series of hallways with a fire exit.
3. Someone beeps through. He puts his future self on hold to take the call. It's Past George Carlin. "It's a trap!" he says.
4. Future Bill Murray decides to call Joe Pesci for some advice on how to free his past self.
5. Umm...Klingon prison?

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