This Episode - in which Scott says something mean (and Bill Murray also does something too, but I forget what it is now) You'll just have to read it. Um. This is a really long title. Sorry. Okay. Bye. Read the episode! Okay, seriously though. Read it.
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 85321
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“Yo,” said the voice on the other end. “Uh...Scott?” Murray ventured. “Is that you?” “Ding! Ding! Ding! You got it! Now were you just calling to waste my time or is there something else I can do for you?”Bill struggled to find the words he wanted to parry Scott's verbal assault with. “Uh, wow,”he finally settled upon saying. “I don’t like your attitude, Scott. Don’t you have caller id? Do you know who this is? Or how do you kids say it these days? You know who this be, dog? That better? This Bill Murray all up in this hizzy!” “Oh! Bill! Hi!” Scott seemed to brighten. “What a game changer! So now it’s been established that I’m Scott and you’re Bill! And this must be a phone I’m holding to my ear! Great! How utterly profound and consequential! So, Bill, is there anything else I can do for you, or are you gonna just keep this insightful and incredibly interesting, not in the least bit dull question & answer session going on all afternoon? Go ahead and answer when you feel ready. I’m not busy or anything.”Bill felt his blood pressure rising with each passing second. “You know, Scott, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re being a sarcastic little shit...” “Ya! Ya, I get that a lot. Anything else?”Bill cringed but decided to bridle his tongue. Taking Scott’s advice, he set the phone down for a moment, took in a lung full of the stale Staircase Room air, and then dove right in and asked the fifty thousand dollar question. “I’m in the Staircase Room. Any idea why?” Silence followed. One minute, two minutes, three minutes...“Um, Scott?” “Hmmm?”“Any ideas on my predicament?” Again, silence.“SCOTT!” “Huh? What? Oh. Right. We were talking. Did we already go over the names? Ya, I think we covered the ‘I am Scott and you are Bill’ part. Fascinating little exchange we had there, by the way. Especially that one part where you were like ‘Bla bla bla’ and I was like ‘Bla bla bla’. Good stuff. So, moving on....why are you in the Staircase Room, indeed. My, but aren’t you waxing existential today? I’m impressed.”“And I’m confused,” Murray finally and bluntly admitted. “Just confused. My head is sore, I think someone knocked me out and kidnapped me. I can’t really be sure. I just.....need to know why I’m in the Staircase Room. I’m kinda starting to freak out here. This....place....it gives me the....creeps.” “Well, hang in there, sport,” came Scott and his, as always, unhelpful answer. His notoriously unsympathetic well wishing knew no bounds. But this was just too much. Scott had gone too far here.“We’re all...uh...we’re all rooting for you down here I can tell ya, aren’t we gang? Huh? Am I right? Ya! They all said ‘ya’! I don’t know if you could hear them. But they, uh, did say ya. Well, a couple of them did. I think Sara did, anyway. Here, I’ll hold the phone up. One more time, gang!” ....... “Did you hear them? No? Oh well, no matter. What’s that, Sara? Hahaha! Okay, I’ll tell him. Sara says ‘at least you got food supplies and starbucks’. Well, I guess I’ll go ahead and let you get back to your mind bending philosophical musings. Okay, Socrates? And um, what else? Oh, I’m proud of you. Mm’kay, guy? Mm’kay. Alrighty then. Mmmbuh-bye.”<click!>
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Ib
1/17/2009 9:02:57 AM
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