I can accept certain realities here…
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 73491
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Ritsuko Akagi “She’s not around right now little one,” Dr. Akagi says from the side softly, calming the distraught looking hatchling. “She’s . . .elsewhere right now and we’re here to babysit Rei-chan and you until we meet up again here soon.” That seems to appease the fretful hatchling and Rei-chan enough to where they no longer look ready to dig her heels into the sand and force us to bodily drag them out of here. Good, considering I really do NOT like the idea of having to drag a kicking and screaming set of young ones along with us, attracting all sorts of unwanted attention. And . . . . . . . I honestly can say now that I kind of find them both so . . .cute and it hurts me to see them upset, damnit. And unlike last I interacted with a young girl named Rei . . .I know more about the blue haired child now. Things that I didn't know before that I wish I had when I had brought the Third . . .when I had forcedly reincarnated Reika into her present vessal. Sure as hell regret (and bitterly regret) how cold I had been with Shinji, not lessening the blow of the changes within Reika after it all. Think of this as . . .an attempt to make amends for something that I fear I shall never totally forgive myself for, all in the name of the greater good. HAH! The "greater good"?! BOY, I must have been sleeping when I fell for Gendo's ploy on that! Believe whatever it really was lay with the same reason why I slept with the bastard king, though I knew that Mother had him before. I mean I know now that it had to do partly with an unconscious desire/thought that by doing so I was doing one BETTER than she ever had. That Gendo actually loved me... . . . Feh, this Freudian garbage makes my elfin heart wince now. What was so complex and cloudy it makes clear (and makes me wince at what I now see). Uh, let us drop this tangent and get back to the task at hand. I am being kind and concerned for Rei-chan and her draconian sibling because it's the humane thing to do. That and I want to do it anyway. She's just as cute as I remember Reika being when we first met inside the Geofront. Not surprising, considering that she's VERY much an identical twin... Kind of helps that she now is acting more . . . human and less standoffish. That time with that youthened Asuka did WONDERS for her here. That and we DID manage to garner her trust earlier. Before one could wonder if there were anything in the way of emotions in the young tyke the way she acted. Kind of the mistake I made with Reika and boy did THAT lead to all sorts of pain and regrets!! F*ck. Hrmph, anyway. Basically I am doing what I am doing because of many reasons (not the least being that I find I really HATE seeing Rei-chan and this little hatchling distraught, tears at the heart). Hey, I can face reality here. Not like I can (and WANT) to keep to old, bad habits. I can be as "human" as the next person... Even IF I no longer am human. I'm still trying to change for . . .the better. And NOT just because of the fact it is in MY best interest to turn over a new leaf in order to "get in good" with Reika's new family and friends!! that I am saying this just because I want to stay out of jail and I shall have you know that I find that HIGHLY insulting and . . . ! Yeah, anyway... "Now we need to hurry up and move along," I continue, smiling at Rei- chan and his sibling. "I don't think that you mother would appreciate you catching something in this dank cave so we all got to get out of here before that happens. Wouldn't want that, right?" They agree, though the little hatchling looks around and seems to ask me as to what is wrong with a dank, dark cavern. Must be a dragon thing. "Nicely done," Reika whispers to me and . . .I find that the compliment touches me more than I thought it would. . . . Uh, pardon. Kind of got choked up there a little bit. Sigh, much to still work out even though so MANY things of the heart are now much clearer as an elfin woman than they ever were as a human being.
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4/16/2007 1:01:42 AM
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