Doubts

By then, I will know whether the sober John feels the same way as the slightly tipsy one who is with me now. I will also have had a chance to think about whether I should accept his offer if he stands by it. At the moment I'm not quite sure. He's been very kind to me, and I look on him as a dear friend, but I don't love him - not yet, anyway. On the other hand, I know that life here as the unmarried mother of a small child would be very hard. Even if I could get Gustav put behind bars and resume working for the Ministry of Law, I would have to leave my baby with a child-minder while I was at work, something that I'd be reluctant to do and which would take a substantial proportion of my wage. Also I know that unmarried mothers are looked down on here.

"Of course you can think it over," John says. "Take as long as you need."

In spite of his words, he looks so woebegone that I feel rather guilty. I've slept with him so many times, when I had no choice in the matter, that surely once more wouldn't hurt? It would cheer him up and, to be frank, it might cheer me up as well, for he's a tender and considerate lover.

"Please share my bed," I say. "Let me show my gratitude for all that you've done for me. It's about time that you had me without having to pay."

1. John is happy to do so. (Though I'm not sure whether he's sober enough to be able to take full advantage.)
2. "No," he says, to my surprise. "Now that you have a choice, I don't want you to lie with me out of gratitude or pity, but only out of love."

Add New Option

Go Back

View Forward Story Tree
View Back Story Tree