World Died Screaming

The Black Void - Episode 2764

"Droll, Madame President, very droll," Porkington says. "But seriously! The situation is quite grave. A week ago, an extremist Islamic organization named the Islamic Army of Islam (apparently they ran out of good names), attacked an Israeli middle school and somehow managed to kidnap 200 children. Israel's response has so far left 15,000 Palestinians and Lebanese dead, mostly women and children, and a whopping 371 Israeli soldiers killed. Islamists are calling it a major success for their side, the UN is having bloody conniptions, and the Jews are stubbornly refusing to sit down and talk, damn them!"

"Thank you, Porkington," you say. "Living under a rock as I do, I find these concise little summaries of world events quite... illuminating. Now my question to you is, what do you think we should do about all this?"

"Without a doubt, rescuing those poor, innocent oilf, er... children should be our highest priority!" Porkington says. "Israel MUST stop this mindless aggression and let the UN recover those children. Madame President, if another Arab-Israeli war broke out, we could lose trillions in oil revenue. Surely you understand the consequences of something like that!"

"Hmm..." you say. Then...

  1. "NUKE THEM! NUKE THEM ALL!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
  2. "Yes. We must continue to work unflaggingly to promote democracy and cultural values in the Middle East, by providing hope for impoverished communities, a chance for peaceful coexistence, and above all, dialogue for involved parties to share useful ideas.
  3. "Look behind you, Porkington."
  4. "Ooh! My pizza is finally here! I'll have to chirp you on this later, Porkmeister!"

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Ryu

11/20/2006 8:16:46 AM

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