Fred and the Roleplaying Adventurers

"The Land of Bullcrap," the dwarf muttered. "Come on Bob, stop screwing around. We came here to find the Jewel of Spectral Fire, not have a bunch of peripheral NPCs thrown our way with side quests. I don't have all day. I gotta be at work at five."

"Yeah," the woman chimed in. "And I really don't appreciate NPCs who can hear us talking. They're supposed to zone out whenever we go OOC."

"And the least you can do is make them more interesting than the generic knight-on-a-quest -to-slay-the-evil-dragon," the armored man added. "I mean, I can think of a million other things. Like how about a mysterious beggar offering to give us a cursed artifact? Or howabout a half-dead messenger pursued by orcs who has vital information that must reach his lord and master. Or--"

"Or what about us getting back to the freaking quest of the Jewel of Spectral Fire?!" the dwarf roared. The silent robed man nodded in agreement.

Fred stared at the foursome dumbfounded and then took another startled step back when the invisible presence began to reply to them again. "Hey, like I said, I'm just following the rules of the game. I may be the DM, but I didn't create this game and my role is very specific. And so's yours. You guys make choices and then the scenario changes. And right now the scenario includes Lord Fred here. So if I were you guys, I'd stop ignoring him and play along."

Fred, still holding his drawn sword, blanched when he heard his name. Obviously these strangers were wizards, or in league with a wizard, or a god, or whatever Bob was. And somehow he'd been pulled into their web of intrigue and evil machinations.

"Who are you!?" Fred demanded, pointing his sword at them most threateningly. "And why have you brought me here? If you think to enslave me or force me to do your bidding, you have another think coming!"

"You see," the woman cried out, "this is what happens when the NPCs can watch us when we step out of roleplay mode! DO something Bob!"

1. Bob does something
2. Fred does something

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