The Long and the Short Of It

Of course, Josh stowed away aboard ship. How? Why?

At this point, it hardly seems relevant, does it? You have to figure that if anyone would survive the accidental destruction of Earth, it would be the Chaos Bringer himself, right?

[SPOILER: he hid away in a crate of fruit which was salvaged by a passing Ferengi freighter. He was then handed over to the Bajoran monks in exchange for half a liter of helium-3 fuel a couple of hours later; the fact that the crate managed to hold an atmosphere long enough for him to be picked up can be chalked up to the whims of fate, or divine providence, or Author's Convenience, take your pick. While this may be important to all of our lives one day--and that day is coming soon--for right now, it suffices to simply say that he's here.]

While looking him over in the ship's tiny infirmary to make sure he's unharmed and medically safe and sound, the Bajorans talk of the Prophets of Bajor, telling him the ins and outs of their religion and their particular sect--their usual conversion attempt, albeit much less douchebage-esque than some. Josh responds with the usual furious masturbation and apelike hooting, as is his wont, and follows it up by clubbing the monk into unconsciousness with a wrench. Being rather impressionable sorts, the rest of the monks are captivated by this free spirit.

In short order, Josh's religon of "Destroying Shit with A Wrench" takes root among the monks, along with a heavy dose of "Get Drunk and Set Things on Fire." In under an hour, the monks are charging hither and yon through the ship, bludgeoning each other and everything breakable with wrenches, or trying to drunkenly set each other on fire.

1. They manage to break something vital; the ship falls out of warp and drifts aimlessly.
2. They're rescued. This is a good thing.
3. They're rescued. This is not a good thing.
4. His work done, Josh exits the ship through that dimensional portal thingie over there in the corner, there.
5. Everyone turns into ferrets and runs aimlessly through the ship.
6. Josh's new religion of drunkenness and fire sweeps the galaxy. War ensues!

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