Isle of Billings Dreamin’, On Such a Winter’s Day...
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 86779
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“Arrr,” the seacaptain croaked in reply, a toothy grin creasing his weather
worn face. The mate seemed slightly confused at that. “I’m sorry?” “Arrrr.”“Um. Arrrr, indeed, sir. The Allarian put up quite a fight trying to hold on to this stupid thing. We pummeled him good for that, we did. Left him a bloody mess. Not sure why he made such a fuss. Stupid Allarians. They’re so stupid and...Allarian. Anyway, I think there’s a little green sardine in it or...somethin’. Do you want to check it out? Or....” “Arrrrrrrrr.”“Alrighty,” the mate muttered. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.” “Arrrrrrrrrrrr.” “I’ll be below deck, securing the prisoners...”“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.” The mate handed him the bottle. “Great.” Then added, under his breath, “Crazy bastard....”“Arrrrrrrrrrr.... rrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... rrrrrrrrr.... rrrr....” *cough!* *cough!* *wheeze!* *cough!* “....rrrrr...” *cough!* As the mate scuttered off, muttering obscenities, the captain lifted up his patch and inspected the bottle. There was obviously no rum or beer in it, so he simply tossed it overboard. His attention then went pack to the pair on the beach. “Hmmm,” he said to himself. “Somethin’ fishy here.” He smelt himself. “Guess that’s me. But somethin’ not quite right, that’s fer sure. Arrrr. An’ them monkeys. What’s with them monkeys? An’ where are my men I sent into that bloody palace? Shiver me timbers and call me a blimey bloomin’ bloke, I’m goin’ ashore to find out! ARRRRR!”And so the captain rounded up ten or so of his stoutest men (‘stout’ meaning they weren’t scurvy-ridden, syphilis-infested, half-starved landlubbers like half his crew was, in his estimation....well, actually everyone onboard had syphilis and scurvy....but at least these ‘stout’ fellows didn’t whine about it), and made ready to go ashore. He was also interested in investigating that palace. He’d never seen anything like it before, and he knew these seas like the back of his favorite whore. Meanwhile, on the warm, sandy beach (mmmm....warm sandy beach...)....“Looks like they’re coming ashore,” said Astra. “Guess that’s our cue to leave,” said Robert.Astra glared at him. “We had a deal.” “But Astra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a....!”“Oh, act your age you whiney little tiddler!” Astra scolded him. “Get your monkeys ready.” Robert slumped his shoulders and begrudgingly turned to the lead monkey, hooting out some orders. The monkey nodded knowingly, saluted, and hooted something to the others.Astra supposed she shouldn’t be so surprised that he could talk to monkeys, as the man was nothing but an oversized monkey himself. Not even an ape. A monkey. All he was missing was the tail. Suddenly it occurred to Astra that she should probably arm herself. She remembered the scimitars the now-mutilated slavers had carried. She turned to Robert, waving a finger in his face. “You stay here and behave yourself,” she told him. “I’m going back into the palace to fetch a weapon. Don’t try anything funny while I’m gone, got it? If you want to make glorious love to my body, that is!”“Oh, I do. I want to do so many...really....well, indescribable things to your body. Love is just the tip of the iceberg,” said Robert. Astra cringed. “Right. So...stay put. I’ll be right back. Okay?”“Okay. Whatever...” And with that, Astra bolted back to the palace with all the speed she could muster.Upon her return....
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Ib (not a huge fan of winter)
12/27/2009 10:22:05 AM
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