Biological Speculation

"Oh god, he saw me!" Jasper whispers. "He's coming towards me! Did he see me?"

Pretty soon, Jasper Hewitt is standing face to face with Jasper McCheese. "It feels like I'm looking in a mirror!" the second Jasper says with a big cheesy smile on his face.
"Who are you? Where did you come from?" Jasper Hewitt demands. "More importantly, why in the world are you in the same place I'm standing in right now?"
"Oh, that's easy, twin! I'm an alternate timeline double of you!"
"You know, that's just absurd. But with the existance I've led alongside my friends and cousin Sara for the past several years, I really can't completely dismiss your story. So, I ask, exactly where do you come from, and why did you end up here?"

Tragically, during the summer of 2001, after a sudden international crisis that escalated beyond any reason, the world saw full-fledged nuclear combat. By this time, the alternate Scott, Sara, Josh and Jasper had all largely split up for reasons lost to history. Jasper McCheese could only vaguely remember being told off by Sara about how he was an idiot, and she wanted nothing to do with him ever again. Shortly thereafter, Sara was killed during a strike on Phoenix, Arizona.

Josh Burbank was in Los Angeles with the alternate timeline versions of Help and Skip Hitler when they all noticed the ICBMs criss-crossing the skies. Thinking quickly, and using Help's extensive knowledge of "secret" underground shelters that are part of a complex network of tunnels and whatnot deep underground and in the mountains, Josh and his new allies hijacked three tourist buses filled with attractive college co-eds. Driving like maniacs, they led the occupants of the buses to a mine up in the hills, and escaped to safety, managing to be safely underground while the rest of Los Angeles went up in a fireball.

Scott Chen found himself trapped in a comic book shop in downtown Green Bay, Wisconsin with nineteen other comic geeks, all boys. Apart from Scott and the clerk, who was fairly normal, the other guys were all stereotypical comic book nerds, socially inept to various degrees (a few still didn't grasp the concept of showering daily and other personal grooming habits), and generally not really that pleasant to be around. Even though the shop was on a block with a shelter deep underneath it, and that Green Bay was relatively unscathed after the bombs fell, Scott felt trapped.

Eventually, after several months of inane conversations about which comic book hero could whip another's rear end, the food ran low. It was about the time that some of the geeks realized that not only would they have to eat, but that they would eventually have to give in to their built up and supressed sexual urges. When Scott and the clerk, a guy named Bobby, watched twelve of their "friends" join together, and surround six of the weaker kids, intending to turn them into either their next meals, or their first "girlfriends", Scott knew that he had to get out, regardless of the dangers outside. Walking out without saying a word, Scott reached the street level, and began walking. In due time, he would reach another area that was still too dangerous to be in, and he could find a place to finally escape this now ruined world permanently. Scott Chen died six months after leaving Wisconsin, making his way down to what was left of Chicago, and letting the radiation and nuclear winter do him in.

As for Jasper McCheese, he had developed two super powers: a psychic link with Josh Burbank that could breach literally any obstacle, and the ability to teleport into other timelines. Finding himself in upstate New York during the attacks, Jasper simply teleported himself into a different timeline. He kept in touch with the alternate Josh, who was now leader of a united society that had gathered underground, and they all were doing fine. Josh did express a desire to eventually be able to "go back outside" at some point, but their technology was still indicating that it was still mostly unsafe to be outside, and it could be years before anyone could set foot in the elements. After that, who knew how long it would be before Earth healed itself enough to be able to grow crops, and if anybody could survive for any length of time out in the open.

Jasper McCheese did bounce back and forth between dozens of different dimensions before settling into this one. He took a room for rent in a house at the end of town, got a job at Wal-Mart, and looked forward to his future in a world that didn't destroy itself.

1. Wow, what a story.
2. The original Jasper doesn't believe a word of that story.
3. Jasper McCheese is somehow forced back into his original timeline. Good riddance.
4. Meanwhile, how is life with the alternate Josh and his friends?
5. The alternate Scott's corpse is animated and becomes a fearsome monster stumbling through the wastelands.

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