Paris has a relpase

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 82782

"You don't know me!" screams Paris, wobbling down Fifth Street with an AK- 47 in her hands. The only reason she could even lift the thing was the remarkable amount of cocaine in her body. It would be sad if it wasn't so damn scary.
Nobody knows where she got the gun, but somewhere in a dark alley is a professional bodyguard with a bruised crotch and a stick of melted, frozen coke-gum up his nostril. Toxic shock. Hope someone finds him before he dies. Anyway, purely because of twitching muscles, Paris blows a hole in the side of a city bus. Several Swedish tourists snap pictures, all of which would be bought for ten grand apiece.
Paris shoots a taxi tire, several windows in a comic book store (goodbye Valiant backstock) and in a move that endears her to millions everywhere, she totally destroys a McDonalds drive-thru. One person is clipped in the elbow and would be quietly paid off by lawyers later.
What does Paris shoot next?

  1. A Texaco sign.
  2. Ten pounds of crappy Starbucks beans.
  3. A fireman. Oops. That can't be taken back.
  4. A car full of firecrackers and nuns.
  5. Her own dog. BLAM. "SCRUFFY!" she screams, patting at the blood, though that is not her dog's name.
  6. A passing helicopter. A lucky hit sends it careening into the World Series, which is happening five blocks over. AAAAHHH!
  7. Batman. Which would have been okay, but she got him in the chin. SPLUTCH.
  8. Her past, healthy self, which had come forward in time to stop her.
  9. A passing van full of crack cocaine. This leads to the bust of the five biggest Mexican drug cartels. Paris becomes even more famous.
  10. Somehow she shoots her own gun.

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2/25/2009 2:46:05 AM

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