Seven Years in Tibet
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 82090
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He could remember it almost like it was yesterday... His Site. That damned
Lots42. Why did it have to be so confusing? ... Life of late had not been kind to our dear Sir Toby, ever since he’d decided to take a more active role on the site again, that is. He was an outcast. Shunned by family, friends, and society at large. And for what? The folks that frequented Extend-A-Story were an ungrateful lot. And Lots42, above all, epitomized this ilk in every imaginable (and unimaginable) way. When he wasn’t complaining about something he was usually giving Josh Burbank FAR more story time than he deserved. And what was with all the spontaneous combustion and episodes about fried bologna and Buffy the vampire slayer? Well...maybe not fried bologna. Fried bologna? But I digress! And don’t forget Voyager. Dear Holy God Jesus...those atrocious Voyager episodes...too horrible to even comment on.Sir Toby took a long swig from his bottle of cheap vodka and laughed for the first time in weeks. In the end, the spontaneous combustion Lots was so fond of inflicting on major characters in the middle of relatively continuity-sound episodes was the very thing that took his own miserable life! “Hey, mister!” said a small, obnoxious voice, jerking old Toby back to the miserable present he so desperately hated.Sir Toby lifted his head slowly and took a moment to relieve his bladder without rising to his feet - being a bum DOES have it’s perks. Through alcohol-hazed eyes he beheld a child looming above him like a spectre of doom. A child no more than nine years of age. “Wha - ?” he finally slurred. “Why don’t you get a job, asshole!” the little whelp spat.“Why don’t.... you ...gedda job!” the forsaken ex-sitemaster fired back. What was a kid doing in this bum/out of work mortgage banker infested alleyway behind Kinkos anyway? “Because I’m nine!”Toby laughed, then puked, then soiled himself yet again. “Bugger off,” he finally managed to say. But the child stood it’s ground. And indeed, it was an it. A shell of a human, no longer a he or she or shehe or heshe or Canadian. For this child, you see, was possessedA wave of chills struck Toby then, alerting him that something was awry. His seven years of training in the Tibetan Himalayas had served him well. This wasn’t just any child. It was...“Lots,” he whispered. The child smiled. “The one and only.”What now?
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Ib (my worst episode yet!)
9/22/2008 7:36:20 PM
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