Sinister Exaggerator

"Fire alarms? Extra large sized safety vests?" a puzzled Scott asks.
"Oh, they meant to drop this off at Schumin's apartment, I think," Krissy answers. "He's really weird like this. I hate it when he starts pulling the fire alarm at 4:30 in the morning, and we're all supposed to evacuate in a quick and orderly fashion while he goes around wearing his pajamas, bunny slippers, and one of those stupid vests while yelling out orders."
"I've heard of the guy, baby," replies Scott. "I just never expected to live in the same apartment building with him. Shall we go return this stuff?"
"Sure, and let's ask him why he was fired from Wal-Mart, too!"
Scott laughs. "Let's also ask him about if it ever dawned on him that it was really lame for him to refuse to help his mom and sister carry things on shopping trips because he's too busy carrying his laptop and digital camera."
"Yeah, let's ask him!"

Before too long, Scott and Krissy are knocking on Ben Schumin's door. Like a gentleman, Scott is holding the package, although he did briefly think about making Krissy hold it.

"We'll have some more books for the fireplace," Josh mumbles as he makes his way over to the mantle. He then tosses the Pacione books into the fire.

1. "Not now," says a voice from behind the door. "I'm busy editing Wikipedia and eating ham sammiches!"
2. No answer.
3. No answer, but Scott and Krissy break into the apartment.
4. The door opens, and they find Schumin buck naked in his living room watching episodes of Today's Special.

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