The Tragic Fate of Anti-Scott

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 72000

Even Scott couldn't keep hating The Anti-Scott for much longer, and he could nurse a grudge better than anyone else. He'd actually gotten into the Guinness Book of Multiversal Records for longest grudge nursed (against Timmy Wilson for beating him up in kindergarten). But, darn it, The Anti-Scott was just so darn nice. And if he were hanging out with him, he might be able to pick up some of the hot girls The Anti-Scott couldn't get around to. So he joined in the party and listened to The Anti-Scott sing Gregorian chant in his beautiful singing voice, and found he had never been happier in his life.

Yes, The Anti-Scott was a wonderful man, beloved by all. But, just as even Scott wasn't without redeeming features every once in a while, the Anti-Scott had one tragic flaw. He always insisted on being referred to as The Anti-Scott. And "The" always had to be capitalized. He didn't mind when people neglected it at first, when he'd only just come into existence, but later he started to become very, very angry.

But none of that mattered for a while. The Anti-Scott was just so darn wonderful that he became the most popular character in all NEQ, appearing in more episodes than Fred, Astra, Scott and Josh combined. He eventually became the star of the EAS's third story, "Endless Bananas." Thanks to him, EAS became the most popular website on the entire internet, even though it didn't have any Flash at all. After the server crashed seven times from being slashdotted, Sir Toby set up a PayPal account to support the server costs and soon became the richest man in the world. He bought out Microsoft and soon ended up owning most of the entire internet. Meanwhile, EAS became more popular than ever and various movies, TV shows, comics and video games inspired by EAS were everywhere.

Of course, things weren't perfect. Some counterparts of Scott, Josh and Fred who wanted more attention set up a resistance movement in the beta test story. Sir Toby eventually went mad with power and started threatening to take down the internet if he didn't get enough rum. He was overthrown in a bloodless coup by JH. But on the whole, things were good for everyone associated with EAS, especially the Anti-Scott.

Then the next presidential election came around, and the American people loved The Anti- Scott so much that every single one of them wrote him in for President. At first the Supreme Court wanted to overturn the verdict. A fictional character as President? But once they thought about it, they realized that he wasn't really any more fake than most presidential candidates. It was a moot point because, on inauguration day, The Anti-Scott showed up and assumed the office. He was just that wonderful.

The first three years of The Anti-Scott's presidency (his vice president was the Incredible Hulk) were easily the greatest years of American history. But one day, a news reporter was interviewing him about taxes and mistakenly referred to him as simply "Anti-Scott." This enraged him so much that he set fire to a nearby bus full of nuns and kittens. "Why... why... why?" said the reporter.

"Well... your mom!" said The Anti-Scott. And the nation gasped in horror.

The Anti-Scott was arrested and sent to a maximum security prison. Ironically, the one person who stayed loyal to him was Scott Chen, who busted him out of jail with the help of Josh Burbank and his extremely vicious koala sidekick, Archimedes, who he'd met in episode 1760 of "Endless Bananas." The tearful Scott then embraced The Anti-Scott. And since they were conceptual opposites, when Scott touched The Anti-Scott, the universe was destroyed.


  1. "Loneliness can't be all bad," said Scott, examining the now tie-dyed couches.
  2. "Loneliness can't be all bad," said Scott, examining the Dragon's caves.
  3. "Loneliness can't be all bad," said Princess Astra, examining the now tie-dyed couches.
  4. "Loneliness can't be all bad," Bobo the Purple Toaster-Headed Gorilla tried to say. But he couldn't since he had a toaster for a head.

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12/10/2007 4:42:22 PM

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