the Jerk

In these three months Fred had thought often of home, of Suffex and its environs, he also had pondered much the fate of Velus. ~~The last I saw of him he was being led from the Gladiator Pit to face the Dragon [#207]. Is he still alive or did he become nothing more than a weenie fricasie?~~

With these thoughts he looked about the ring of the Pit. "Uh," he said. "Why are we here again?"

"Golly!" said Buffina with a flip of her ponytail. "You need to pay more attention at the meetings! After every night, the Pit is washed down so that the stink of guts and stuff doesn't get so bad as to kill the patrons. Anyway, the ugly mess goes through the sewers and out into the Lake of Gol that sits on the western edge of the M'in Peak which just happens to be the lowest peak of the Eastern Mountains."

"That's the Nothern Mountains, Missy" interrupted the Lady Diana.

"Actually," said the Baron Fledermaus. "It's real title is the Mountains of the Shrieking. Its due to the strange confluence of valleys and peaks and the fierce winds that drive through them during the autumn months."

"Well," said Fred. "My people just call them the Shreken."

"Shut up already!" protested Buffina. "It doesn't matter WHAT you call them. The point is, we are going to use these sewers to enter into the Dragon's lair, surprise it, kill it, chop it up into little pieces, flail it, gut it --"

"I get the picture!" said Fred.

"Oh, well....good. Anyway, we'll rescue any prisoners and get the hell out. Got it?"

Before Fred could reply a voice came from above. "Hey! What are you folks doing down there?!?" The five looked up and saw a fine looking man looking down upon them. He wore a green vest and sand-brown pants, the kind that wealthy merchants often wore. "I said," he said again. "What are you doing down--" He stopped, then he looked at Buffina a bit more, as if inspecting her. "Hey, I know you! You're the bar wench that works the day shift in the Tavern d'Angelo."

Buffina looked up and said, "Why, yes. That is right." There was an inaudible sigh of relief from the five and Clark put down the rock he was about to throw into the man's skull. It seemed they had not been found out yet and they didn't want to give themselves away. Buffina looked at the man and saw how attractive he was. The man seemed to be looking at her in the same manner. Then he spoke down to her again.

"You know," he said. "You are the most beautiful woman I have in my employ. I don't mean to be rude in any way, but would you go to bed with me for a million gold pieces?"

Buffina's mouth dropped. The man was handsome, he spoke civily, and he was rich. She said, "Well, for that kind of money, yes."

Then the man said, "Well, would you go to bed with me for only two gold pieces?"

Buffina turned red and angrily retorted, "Golly! What do you think I am?"

"We have already established what you are, Missy," said the man. "We are now merely trying to establish the price."

Buffina was now furious, and ashamed as well. "Why you!!!"

"Leave it!" said the Lady Diana. "You're a wench and he's a jerk, let it go. We've got to get back to work."

The man smiled then, "And what kind of work would that be?"

1. Truth, Dares, Lies & Consequences

Go Back

View Forward Story Tree
View Back Story Tree