Daddy & Junior
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 47025
|
Within the citadel of Zerm the Unspeakable... The commercials were over, and that dastardly old wizard - Zerm the Unspeakable (MWAHAHAHAHA!) *thunder rolls ominously* - settled back into his throne of power and peered deep into his crystal ball, smiling wickedly as the swirling mists parted and he went back to watching the island drama play out. This episode of ‘Lost’ was one of the best ever! The whole series was a brilliant peice of work. He usually wasn’t keen on the ‘flashback’ method as a literary device, but the folks at the network there had really outdone themselves with this show. The revealing glimpses at the characters’ jaded pasts really brought everything together and progressed the story beautifully. ... “Wait a minute!” he protested, sitting up abruptly. “Isn’t that Alexis!?” He rubbed his eyes and adjusted the display on the ball. “WHO CHANGED THE CHANNEL WHILE I WAS CONJURING UP POPCORN IN THE KITCHEN!? ALEXIS AND ASTRA ARE LIKE, SO YESTERDAY! I COULD CARE LESS WHAT THEY'RE UP TO RIGHT NOW! JUNIOR!!!!”A mischievous giggle echoed through the cold chamber, deep within the belly of the massive citadel. Zerm the Second was well over thirty, but somehow he’d never been able to shake the nickname ‘Junior’ his father had bestowed upon him years earlier. Perhaps it was because he still lived with his rich dad, still wet his bed at night, and was still pulling childish pranks like this one.“By the Seven Swollen Eyes of Vic-Hipr the Defiler!!” Zerm senior continued to rage. “Either give me back the remote, you little devil, or I’ll throw you into the Pit with the others!!” Junior’s head popped up from behind a potted plant. “Sorry, dad! I didn’t think you’d get all anal...” He changed the chanel back and threw the remote across the living room, then stormed up to his room.“Oooooh,” his daddy fumed. “You insolent, pimple-faced punk! Get back! Don’t you walk away! Go pick up that remote! I swear, one of these days...” And his words trailed off into the forgotten realm of unheard promises never to be kept. Junior slammed his door shut and fell onto his bed with a heavy sigh. His room was a sad affair, with dirty clothes and Play Mage and other porno mags strewn all about, and the corpses piled over in the corner - a silent but smelly testament to his many failed love-affairs. And as a finishing touch there was his poor fish whom he’d forgotten to feed, floating peacfully in it’s bowl. Oh sure, he had his own little crappy crystal ball, but not the fancy high-definition one like his dad’s. Oh well...The dependent wizard gazed into his ball and started touching himself inappropriately. Ever since his father’s encounter with the beautiful Astra, hellbent on freeing her aunt, he’d taken a liking to her. Well, it was more of an obsession, really. He’d vowed to follow her every footstep and boob-bounce for the rest of his life. So far, he was staying true to his word. And as he witnessed the unholy effects of Astra’s new armor he began to calculate and plot a way to use this to his advantage. He waited until later that night, and then made his move...
The door to his pop’s library creaked open in the wee hours of the morn’, and in crept a dark shadow...BOINK! “DAMMIT!” Junior cursed, nursing his toe while trying to stay propped up on only one leg. He inevitably stumbled backwards and fell onto a switch that ignited all of the tourches throughout the entire library. “DAMMIT!” He covered his mouth just as quickly and gulped. “I’m in it now, there’s no going back,” he said with as much resolve as he could muster. “Here goes nothing...”The library of Zerm the Unspeakable was unrivaled by any other in the entire world, and even several parallel universes. The bookshelves rose from the jet-black marble floor and disappeared into the darkness thousands of feet above and beyond reckoning. No one had ever been to the top...not even Zerm the Unspeakable! Junior hoped the particular book he was looking for was low enough that he wouldn’t have to use one of the ladders. He was petrified of heights. He perused over the many book titles on the lowest tier of the nearest shelf...“Hmmm...” he muttered. “Relativistic Chronomancy? No. Paradoxical Hermeticism for the Modern Archwizard? No. Applied Sorcery? Not even close. Practical Necromancy for Dummies? Might be a good read later but for now a resounding ‘no’. Demonic Philosophy?” He did a double take. “YES!” Uh oh...Next time, in another exciting installment...
|
Lost Soldier
11/16/2004 4:28:32 PM
Linking Enabled
Extending Enabled
24918885 episodes viewed since 9/30/2002 1:22:06 PM.