Highly Illogical, Captain

"What happened?" shouted Gloria, who was getting very angry now and somewhat frustrated that there was no one to be angry at. "Why are we no longer in the Twisted Cellars?"

"Who knows," said Betty-2. "That's what Game 3 was like. Some authors completely changed the plots whenever they felt like it without any regard to continuity. Still, you can do worse than a badly written version of Star Trek--at least this isn't the Silver Door. I know all kinds of Star Trek knowledge, so I'm fine with this as long as the story doesn't try to force any of us to have sex with Kirk."

"How do you know it's Kirk and not the other one? You know, the bald Frenchman?" said Stacy.

"Well, the sexist miniskirted uniforms we're wearing have to be from the original series--although I'll admit they're a step up from lingerie," said Betty-1.

"Who's this Lieutenant Stevens person?" asked Gloria uneasily.

"Well, we're Lieutenants Ragan and she's Ensign Jones, so that must be you," said Betty- 1.

"How can I only be a Lieutenant Commander? I have three PhD's! Shouldn't I be a captain by now?" The other women sighed. Gloria may have been intelligent and may have been unfairly oppressed, but clearly she was a bit spoiled at the same time. "Well, that was Original Star Trek for you," said Betty-2. "They could be pretty sexist in Starfleet during the 23rd Century. It was still fun, though."

The ship then shuddered unsettlingly, knocking the Bettys and Stacy to the floor--the Princess Gloria had managed to compensate with lithe grace. The Bettys barely pulled themselves upward and stumbled their way through the pitching starship to the turbolift, Stacy and Gloria following them uneasily.

As they reached the bridge, the starship pitched again, but our heroines managed to avoid falling this time. The captain was falling out of his seat. "You know, you'd think after all this time Starfleet would have thought to install seatbelts." They looked at the ship's viewscreen and saw what was attacking them. It was:

1. A Klingon spaceship.
2. A Zebroid spaceship.
3. Paco the Samurai Jelly Bean.
4. The Silver Door. Yes, they were being attacked by The Silver Door.
5. Before they could find out, the plot completely changed again. The four women were now in a gondola in a city that resembled Venice. Captain Kirk was still there, oddly enough--as a singing gondilier. (Well, nominally singing.)

Add New Option

Go Back

View Forward Story Tree
View Back Story Tree