Three Weddings and a Massacre

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 43043

Everyone was gathered - the elderly, seasoned statesmen, the youthful craftworkers and their beamish maidens, young children, stray cats and dogs and rats - the entire population of Ierelas had assembled for the wedding of their new King and Queen.

Astra was the very picture of a blushing bride, clothed in a magnificent white gown and diamond studded slippers. Balbarax was in attendance as the best man, and the maid of honor was a buxom Ierelan lady whose wide smile and cheerful demeanor was positively infectious. The crowd cheered ecstatically and threw flowers as Fred and Astra walked down the aisle.

"I've always dreamed of this day." Fred told Astra.

"And I too, my love." Astra said breathlessly.

The Dragon was officiating the wedding. After the preliminary readings he said "Do you, Fred, take Astra to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do."

"And do you, Astra, take Fred to be your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do, with all my heart!"

"Then you may now... what the fuck?!"

Screams of horror and anguish echoed through the hall as a tiny ball of fur slashed and scythed its way toward Fred, killing and maiming the wedding guests in its way. Blood streamed down the wedding aisle as it finally reached Fred.

"Miu! Miu!" the tiny kitten cried, which translated to "You fucking son of a bitch! I'm gonna tear your f*cking spine out and feed it to you!"

"Aw, its a cute little kitten!" Fred said. "Are you lost, little one? You seem oddly familiar..."

Astra screamed in horror as the kitten lunged, ripping Fred open from neck to pancreas.

Astra knelt, cradling Fred in her arms as his lifeblood flowed away.

"Astra, I'm sorry." Fred choked. "We so rarely... so rarely get to do this in all of these storylines... I had thought... but I should have been more careful..."

"Don't speak, my darling!" Astra sobbed. "Balbaros, Balbaros, call a medic! He is so cold... so cold... FRED!!!"

The kitten felt strangely... unfulfilled as she watched all of this. What had she accomplished by murdering her creator? As the emptiness inside her seemed to expand and threaten to swallow what was left of her soul she reared on her haunches and hissed in fury. No! There was a way back... one last power that Fred had unknowingly given her when he created her.

  1. A way that meant her own undoing.

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8/23/2004 4:06:26 AM

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