People Soup.

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 41036

Fred leapt out of bed and ran as fast as he could down the stairs, in fact he was going so fast he fell.

He ran into the kitchen to find seven disfigured corpses with important body parts strewn all over the place.
"Good morning," said Jack with a big insane smile and a bloody egg beater in his hand. "You're up early,"
Fred's mouth was wide open "What the hell happened here!?"

"Hmmm let me remember," said Jack as he scratched at his chin "Well the nun cracked her skull on a plate I hammered into her, the little boy died when I nailed his eyes into his brain after he woke up from me pouring boiling hot water into his mouth, the innkeeper was drowned in the kitchen sink full of my urine, and the others all died in more varyingly amusing ways."

"So....uh, why did you bring them all into the kitchen?" asked Fred suspiciously
"Oh you," chuckled Jack "You've spoilt the surprise now, I was going to cook you breakfast,"
"You eat people as well?" said Fred who couldn't believe what he was hearing from this madman
"You've never tried human?" asked Jack "Oh it's to die for, or should I say to murder for," Jack laughed at his little joke, Fred couldn't force more than a titter.

"So what was that cry before?" Fred asked finally
Jack blushed. "Oh that was silly old me, I put my penis in the toasted sandwich maker, I must have got a bit over-excited,"
Fred, who had endured enough already to stop him sleeping, still said "I'm going back to bed," and without listening to what Jack said in reply, trudged back up the stairs.

The next morning Fred got down stairs and completely forgot what would be waiting for him at the dinner table.
"It's a casserole," smiled Jack holding his hands and bouncing around excitedly. "Try it,"
Fred looked down at the mulch of meaty human bits that had contributed to the peopling to this inn the night before.
Fred gulped, he didn't want to eat this, but he also didn't want to be raped and killed and then raped again afterwards.

  1. Fred says he has an upset belly and excuses himself.
  2. Fred accepts social convention, eats the slop and then says he liked it.
  3. Fred meets Jack halfway, he doesn't eat the casserole but he let's Jack have sex with him.
  4. Fred gives it to the starving millions in Africa.
  5. Fred gives it to the greedy fat cats in America.
  6. Fred says he just remembered he's allergic to human.
  7. Fred changes the subject, quite dramatically.
  8. Fred runs out of the inn and tells a copper.
  9. Fred loses his temper and slays Jack.
  10. Fred says "What's that" and points out the window, then hides under the table when Jack turns his head.

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4/8/2004 8:11:51 AM

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