the naked man chained to the wall

"What was that?" said Astra.

"It sounded like a yelp," said Frank.

"I know what it sounded like!" said Astra with a bit of anger.

"Then why'd you ask?" said Frank with a bit of humor.

"Oh... oh shut up!" said Astra.

The two went into stealth mode, both creeping up as quietly as their armoured bodies would allow. They turned a corner of one offshoot tunnel and came to behold a most unexpected sight: a man, naked, chained to a wall!!!

"Holy Moley!" gasped Frank.

"Mystical Mother!" gulped Astra.

The man was handsome by most accounts, his brown hair was dirty as well as his tanned flesh (his exposed areas which usually did not see the light of day did show that he was born a light-skinned man). The man saw the two warriors and called to them in a whisper: "Hey, psst... come here... I promise I won't hurt you."

"Is he joking?" asked Astra of Frank.

"I... I think he is," said Frank who began to think he recognized the naked man. They walked closer to him.

"Who are you?" asked Astra.

"Uh-huh," said the man swinging his head in the negative. "You tell me first who you are."

"Well," said Frank. "My name is Frank and this is Red Sonja."

"Hey," jabbed Astra at Frank. "I never said 'red', where do you get off calling me 'red' Sonja?!?"

"I call it like I see it, Red Sonja, and you're mane of red hair is quite alluring."

Astra bit her tongue at the two-sided compliment; if she were back home she'd have this man whipped but as it was... "My name is Sonja, stranger, just Sonja."

"Well," said the man chained to the wall. "Nice to meet you Frank and 'Just' Sonja."

"Hey!!!" growled the warrior maiden. "What is it with you guys?!?"

"Listen, missy," said the man hanging from the wall. "When you find yourself stripped of clothing, hung on a wall, and left to die, I bet you that your sense of humor will come out in spades! By the way, my name is--"

"FREDERIGO!!!" said Frank. "Holy cow! You are the Dragon-Hunter!"

~~my, my~~ thought Astra. ~~I wonder how many holy animals these Allarians have in their land!~~

The eyes of the man on the wall grew twice their size. "Uh no, my name isn't Fred...you have me mistaken with someone else.. uh, my name is Guy, uh yeah...that's it.. Guy Gardener!"

Frank realized his misstep... the use of true names while in the company of strangers was not only frowned upon by the KnightsElder, but it could be downright deadly in the wrong circumstances. "Uh, yeah... I'm sorry, you just sorta look like... him, the other guy, um yeah."

Astra looked at these two men and sighed. ~~idiots!!!~~ She didn't know any 'Fred' but to reveal one's name... ~~But I guess I'll play along.~~ "Well Guy, how did you come to be here?"

"Well, I lost my sword while traversing these cursed caves, and one thing led to another..."

"Well, this is your lucky day!" said Astra. "I just happen to have an extra sword." Upon pulling out the extra-large sword Fred nearly had a heart attack! It was his sword, the one the mage had transformed in so horrible a fashion!!!

"What's his problem?" asked Astra. Frank just shook his head not sure. "Listen, we'll get you out of these chains in no time -- I'm from Aqualaria and I know how to--"

"Aqualaria?" said Fred interrupting. "You wouldn't happen to have your trusty talking stallion, would you? Or what about your sensual sidekick Bimbo?"

Astra wanted to shout, bt she kept her tongue so as not to draw the attention of any possible monsters. "Listen," she said in a whisper. "That's a load of claptrap... I don't know where you Allarians get your information, but I have never, ever had a talking horse, a slut sidekick, or a simpleton man-servant... atleast not on any military campaign!"

"Oh," said Fred, his spirits a bit deflated.

1. they soon free Fred "Guy"...
2. they are unable to free Fred...
3. before they can free Fred a creature rounds a corner and bumps into the warriors...

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