A Savage Beastman!
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 25035
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Chuc raised his arms and murmured an incantation, "Shurov Thariel."
Suddenly the small area about them was bathed in a bright noonday light.
The three men nearly screamed. They saw Elashi kneeling on the sand
whimpering. That was bad enough, but the cause of her dilemma was worse.
They saw a man, or something that resembled a man. It was tall with strong
muscles rippling under its tattered shirt. Below the waste it had only a
loin cloth and the brown hair on its legs grew thick. Its arms were long,
far too long in fact, reaching well below its knees. Its skin was a dark
green, and this was not all that was wrong, for from its mouth protruded
two of the largest tusks the group had ever seen! "A savage beastman!" Fredric gasped. "Stand back, I know how to handle this." Val said. Walking forward, he addressed the beastman, enunciating each word slowly. "We come in peace. We take-um your land." "Oh please." the beastman said in a cultured accent, rolling his eyes. "I am not a savage. We, the natives of this island, have lived here for centuries, passing down the ancient lore of our ancestors, in hopes of one day making contact with other civilized people like you and sharing our knowledge." "Hey guys, I think I've figured out their primitive language!" Val grinned. Turning back to the beastman, he spoke. "You tell location of 'dragon's cave' - we give priceless beads and pox-ridden blankets. You smoke-um peace pipe?" "But we already have enough beads and blankets!" the beastman roared irritably. "What we really need is to establish trade routes and exchange cultural achievements in science and medicine!" "Oh crap!" Val cried. "It's becoming agitated! We've got to fight it off!" Weapons drawn, the yutes charged the beastman, but he proved a worthy adversary indeed. With his long arms he knocked out each of them before they could even take one swing. --- When they woke up, they were each tied to a pole and surrounded by dozens of the beastmen. "Dammit!" Val said. "The bloodthirsty savages managed to overpower us through press of sheer numbers! Now they're no doubt going to sacrifice us to their heathen gods!" "Shut up, dumbass!" Chuc said. "This is all your $#*@!%$ fault! Why the hell did I ever let you be the leader?!" "Now c'mon you guys." Elashi said. "Val tried his best." "No, I agree with Chuc." Fredric said. "If we escape, we're voting for a new leader." "Silence!" said the same beastman Val had spoken to on the shore. "We tried to be friendly, but your violent actions have left us no other choice. The four of you must face the Test of Death!" "Oh, I don't like the sound of that." Chuc said. "At break of dawn, the Bird of Chulamon will come to judge you four. If your souls are pure, you will live. Otherwise, you will die a death more horrible than any imaginable." The beastmen all melted away into the shadows. The yutes wated quietly, all except for Val, who kept banging his head against the pole and singing "Oh, the Lord loves a hangin', that's why he gave us necks..."
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PsychoSkyGunner "With credit due to Y, The Simpsons, South Park and Ren & Stimpy"
3/18/2003 6:50:01 AM
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