The Proclamation

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 24717

Lord Fred opened the other drawer, and found a roll sealed with red wax. Breaking the seal, he found that the paper shone with a gloss, and was written in colourful inks with a very regular hand. In fact, it looked as if were conjured. Even working with as much precision as humanly possible, Fred could not imagine any scribe writing this perfectly. He read his proposed fate in the pages of the weird proclamation:

Know ye all to whom these presents come; We, Fredrigo d'Honaire, the 11th Duk of Suffex, Farmoor, and Vmbria, Grand Commander of the Knights of the Orange, Chief Executiue Officer and Chairman of the Board of Directors of the diuers gilds and ioint-stock companies of Allaria and all subiect fiefs, and coolest warrior in ye kingdom, by the grace of the Lord, Greetings.

The holder of this, ye proclamation of the CORONATION of King Fred I, of the dynasty of d'Honaire, to be held at Camelyn Square at the 4th Houre of the 23rd of Iuly, weather permitting, is entitled to the following licenses and priuiledges at said CORONATION.

ITEM,
That the holder shall be entitled to one seat in the southe stands. The Kingdom of Allaria and the House of d'Honaire shall not be held libel for wounds due to thrown coins, victuals, or other obiects of the King's largesse.

ITEM,
That the holder shall be inuited to the great banket, and receiue as much in way of vegatables, fruit, and breadde as one cares to consume; howeuer, as certaine menne of Camelyn and in the hinterlands of Allaria haue made pigs of themselues with the meates, sweetes, and spirituous liquors at the laste coronation, of the late King Barnabas IJJ, the Master Ianitor of ye Realm, Reaibn, hath decreed that no more than one seruing of meate or sweete be given, and that ye liquor not be served vntil after ye coronation is complete.

ITEM,
All men attending the banket are subiect to performing tests of strength and military prowess for the amusement and instruction of the companie, and the House of d'Honaire and the Kingdom or Allaria are not to be held libel for any misfortune attending thereto. Ladies attending may be asked that the companie be allowed to gaze upon their beautie. Any such requests that do not issue from the King may be ignored.

ITEM,
The holder of ye proclamation shall be entitled to participate in the peanut races, and may keepe any winnings obtaining thereto. The holder, should hee or shee take part, shall not hold the Kingdom of Allaria or its agents responsible for any damages or humiliation resulting from collisions with waterie proiectiles or exposure to mudde.

ITEM,
The holder of ye proclamation shall be entitled to watch the knights and seruants of the householde compete in the gelatin swim at the North Gate of the Moate.

ITEM,
The holder of ye proclamation may be chosen by the new King to perform a leap, a whistle, and a bumbulum for the amusement of the King and his audience.

ITEM,
The holder of this ticket is NOT entitled to any additional marchanise, victuals, or other items offered for sale at ye Coronation Faire. Any marchant wishing to set up a boothe should contact ye Office of the Master Ianitor for prices and terms....


Fred skipped through the rest of the material, down to the notice at the bottom:

NOTE THAT CORONATION TIME COMES BUT ONCE EVERY TWO OR THREE YEARES. PLEASE DO NOT MISS THIS.

Fred looked at this bizzare official document, and thought

  1. "I am in a kingdom of madmen. I must escape this instant!"
  2. "My best chance of survival is to accept coronation, and try to solve the mystery of these weird events from a position of authority, such as I may have."
  3. "I must find someone to discuss this with, and shed light on these strange events."

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3/9/2003 12:04:41 PM

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