Meanwhile, deep within the Death Zone, Mike was battling for his life
against vicious spawn of hell! "Back, foul demons, back!" he exclaimed, eviscerating one with a well aimed blow from his Rune Dagger. "C'mon!" the demons taunted, trying to surround him. "We just wanna little nibble! We're all oh so hungry here!" "Chew on this, you monsters!" Mike shouted, slamming another one over the head with a resulting juicy burst of brain matter. Finally the demons had enough and slunk away, snickering untoward things about Mike's mother. Mike stood, practicing his Yoga breathing exercises, trying to regain his composure. "Damn that Rassilon!" Mike thought. "I helped him save the world, and he betrayed me like that! Well, someone's off my Christmas card list for this year!" That had been two days ago. Since then, Mike had wandered the Death Zone, fighting for his life and slowly running out of supplies. He was hungry now, terribly hungry. "Hmm..." Mike mused, picking up one of the demons' severed arms. It smelled incredibly vile, and yet Mike's stomach was growling so much he shut his eyes and took a tentative bite. In the next second he was doubled over, puking up the last of the Healing Herbs he had greedily consumed yesterday. The demon flesh tasted like crap, or worse, light beer not brewed in Amsterdam. If this was all they had to subsist on, no wonder they were all so eager to eat me, Mike thought - after all, humans were supposed to taste like chicken. This gave Mike an idea, but he quckly realized how stupid he looked gnawing on his own elbow, especially through his naugahide jacket. "Dammit!" Mike shouted, pounding the ground with his fists. "Why, why is this happening?! Why can't I have a little tuna and pickle sandwich, or a Wendy's cheeseburger, or even a frickin' bean burrito from Taco Bell? Why, why?!" "Excuse me." said a soft voice. "I couldn't help but overhear your dillema..." Mike jumped up, grabbing his weapon. "A... a tiger?" he gasped. "Hardly." the creature in front of Mike said. "I am a hyperintelligent btelloid rocifer, and only by a strange coincidence does my species look exactly like your Earth tigers. Now, I really couldn't help but overhear your particular dillema, and..." Even as the creature talked, Mike stared at it's huge meaty thighs, lustrous fat haunch and juicy thick legs. He started salivating...
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5/6/2002 11:49:54 AM
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