It got interesting...

Note: “Farscape” and the characters of “Farscape” belong to the Henderson Company. Not me. However, for more information about said show and characters, go here: http:// www. scifi.c om/far scape/ primer/.

I am NOT repeating and explaining everything you could find with one quick click of the mouse....

Oh, and parts of this episode are taken from mr Qrygg's episode 75408

John Crichton

Moments later...

“And now begone,” the talking lion says softly, and Einstein vanishes.

. . .

Okay. Not being quiet here out of grief that Einstein (or whatever the frell his real name is here) just got the heave ho by Aslan the wonder lion here. Nope, can’t say that I miss the damn creep at all!!

Meddling god like alien sonova...

. . .

No, I’m still kinda needing to recover a bit from what happened here with me and to me.

. . .

Harvey’s gone. That damn neural clone of that cadaverous son of a BITCH is gone!! And it didn’t go kicking or screaming but beggin to be erased.

Well er . . .he was begging to be erased quicker than the leftovers of the old chip in my head was doing, you see. Seems that whatever programing parameters he'd been left with had been met and so . . .it was time for him to die. Rei and the others were just doing a mercy killing, that is all.

He was going to die no matter what.

Frell me. This has been a weird trip and a half.

. . .

See, it has all to do with a simple little ol’ thing: wormhole weapons. It was hanging around trying to get the last scraps of info to pass back along to Scorpy, just in case the chip Scorpy retrieved didn’t do the trick entirely. Well, he got the info but it's useless.

Said that before but it bears repeating.

. . .

Ol’ Blue Angel over there said that some parts of the data Scorpy got that and a neural copy of ME?! Oh frell... Something must have gone wrong or else . . .nevermind. Not something I can really do much about here while laying about in some kind of woods, right?

Yeah, gotta ask Scorpy what ever happened to John Crichton 2.0! Love to hear about that bit, believe me.

Did . . .that neural clone of me think that Aeryn was permanently gone? I mean, I had thougth that before Zhaan brought her back mystically (at the cost of her life eventually), but . . .

Shit. Stop gettin' sidetracked and concentrate will ya, John? Okay? Good!

Don’t know exactly how these girls came by the info but they sure seem sure of it. Harvey was convince enough by what the girls said to actually look DEFEATED as he was being erased by his hardware so there’s gotta be something to it.

Author's Note: as per what had happened in the very end of “Farscape: the Peacekeeper Wars”)

Okay, long short . . .this is basically what happened. Pardon in advance if it . . .isn’t as clear as I’d like to be but . . .I’m kinda having troubles following it myself so cut me some slack, ‘kay?

They say that their family somehow played a part in capturing an entire Gammock base and the tech (and other data) got poured over by friends? Telling them all sorts of goodies?

Yeah . . .now pull my other leg. Will call them on that later but not right now.

Harvey’s gone. Damn. And the information about wormholes is useless to Scorpy but the entire universe is still out to get me?

Man, life ain’t fair!!

The only means left to use wormholes as any kind of weapon is . . .kinda crude. Effective but crude except for the fact that . . .such a buildup of unmanned drone ships to deliver their deathly payload would spark a war with the Scarans before they were ready.

Even if the few ships that got built were turned into flying "Gate bombs". Not sure exactly what that means except the concept came from some place called "Babylon 5" or whatever. But as to how powerful those suckers would have been (if the Peace Keepers had the tech to build such things) . . .Rei had said something along the lines of "Ka-boom for the Boom gods" or some such.

Warhammer 40k or somethin'...

. . .

Do NOT want to know. Nope, I don't wanna know....

No, figure I should listen to them at least. Say something along the lines that war is going to come no matter WHAT now and the PKs are going to get their asses handed to them now, almost no matter what...

Rei wanted to broach something with me and Scorpy to . . . make sure that the Sebacians at least survive as a species...

...

Why do I have a feeling that I'm not exactly going to like what she's going to talk about here? Oh . . . I am at least beginning to trust her and her sisters (at least they're not out to TOTALLY screw me over). Not saying that I buy everything that they say (believe that they're kinda out there with claiming to be the actual "First Children" from that funky movie I saw with friends "NGE: Death and Rebirth"). Myself, I figure that they're kinda studied themselves as fan into a delusional state (wings or not). I mean, that was one WEIRD frelling movie. REALLY.

Any movie that has married both Christian-Judeo mythology with evolution with psycho-analysis (ala Freud)? Weird stuff man!! Mind bending stuff that I really didn't want to delve into, despite efforts on DK's part...

I mean there are video games, 26 episodes and all that stuff. More than enough to send someone who's kinda . . .out there to begin with . . .

Not saying that these winged girls are stupid. Nope, Hell NO!! That "Wormhole Advanced" session they did your's truly was . . .awe inspiring! Shit.

And even IF that part about wormhole weaponry not being feasible (except for whatever the frell slammer ships are) . . .I still owe them a bit for that solid they did me with Harvey.

. . .

Didn't think it was possible to make the freak erase himself...

“Now let’s get down to business,” Rei says, interrupting my train of thought. Somehow she doesn’t look like a happy camper about this. “Originally Aslan over there was going to just snatch I and my sisters away from our ship and place us here in the Woods between Worlds. Once here we’d have taken a quick swim through this pond here into the land of Narnia . . .”

She takes a deep breath, looking away from me. See that there is a bit of coloration on her ultra pale face that tells me . . .she’s kinda angry right now.

“Where I’d be joined with my love here who’d waited for the long years I’d been away,” she adds, almost growling. “Long years that I have the so VERY fortunate dearly departed Captain Tate to thank for, may I add for the extra years away...”

. . .

Okay, sounds like there’s a story there... Whoever Tate is here seems to have thrown a serious monkey wrench into these two lovebird’s plans, I take.

“When they reeled you into their ship we kinda put a kabosh on those plans,” Fred puts in from the side. “You’d have been saved from Einstein having killed you, whatever way it would have happened.”

“I would have seen to that,” Aslan rumbles.

Okaaay, well. . . .Good to see that at least I had a powerful talking lion had my back. . .

“But in the process you got dragged along with the girls AS well as Einstein since he had the bad taste to try to snag you so . . .here we are,” Fred finishes. “Snagging you kind of caught you up in OUR business so right from here on until we get OUT of the Woods we all go together . . .or not at all.”

Kinda how this mystical/magical crap/fate stuff works, I gather. Oh, happens to me all the time, lady!

“And unless you wish to become something other than human I would rather you NOT try to just say you go with us through the pond s and solve it that way,” Lilith snaps, seeing what I was about to say somehow. “The nature of that place is . . .weird. Only a select few human beings can walk upon it’s soil without being transformed.”

“Eustace Shrubb . . .well, I do hope that I will be able to help him adjust to being a dragon,” Aslan sighs, muttering to himself in consternation.

Okay, first of all who’d be cruel enough to name their kid Eustace. Next. . .dragons? Fantasy puff the magic kinda dragons?!

. . .

Well . . .we have talking lions and a guy here (me) who’ll just nod and accept it, not wanting to take the possible alternative . . .that I’ve totally and completely lost it!!

I mean . . Heh . . .I mean with all this talk about alternate (unrealized or whatever) realities you have to have something like magic possible, right? Meaning that something like magic (magical mystical crap that ol’ Zhaan was more adept at handling that little ol’ me) could be a reality where I’m going, I guess.

“Uh . . .sorry about . . .that,” I mutter, snuffling my feet uncomfortably.

“I blame the Ancient . . .not you,” Rei says sharply. “But if you feel the need to try to make up for something that cannot be helped . . .perhaps you could help me and my sisters? AFTER we leave here? We cannot take the short way home now through the pond. We have a spaceship but . . .”

. . .

The spaceship has FTL but is effected by relativistic effects? Meaning another few centuries would pass before they reached their goal on their own with that ship?

They have to travel long lightyears to get to where they’ll be able to be picked up by their friends from what they say. Something about joining in on a Quest going on already over yonder. Somewhere.

Quests. Right. Knights and Ladies on Quests. Okay. Whatever.

Still...

Gee, that . . .would kinda be a bit too long for the lovebirds, eh? I mean Fred there would be an old gaffer (at best) after such a long time, even with futuristic medicine and such.

I soon learn that I’ll be returning to Moya (the Leviathan I call home), but . . .that’s where things go screwy.

Don’t ask me how or why but . . No, you’ll see what’s up here soon enough.

One thing, though. After today I’m going to gather up all my black t- shirts and burn them!! Rei’s right, the weirdest things do always happen whenever I wear them.

God only knows why I hadn’t noticed until now...

Soon . . .Fred has vanished back to whence he came...

Fred couldn’t have met them on the other side, after this mixup but Aslan had been able to at least arrange this meeting between Rei and him.

Long enough for the wedding proposal....

Aslan roared and spoke one more time. “Off shall I send you Son of Adam and Daughters of Eve. Fair journey.

“Anon I will have a request for you, Daughters of Eve, but not yet. First you will return to your home.”

And then the meeting in those strange woods was apparently over. His breath enveloped the remaining humans. “Remember I am with you whatever world you travel to, although not in this shape and this name.” Aslan rumbles.

“Why does that kinda . . .,” John mutters, remembering something similar sounding in . . .one of his few church going days.

Speculations are banished by a jarring screech as he finds himself . . .elsewhere. In D’Argo’s spacehip in Moya’s hanger bay, to be exact.

“Crichton you IDIOT!!” Aeryn Sun screams, seeing the huge void serpent rearing up to strike. Only to be knocked for a loop by what could only be described as . . .lighting bolts?

1. Three sets to be exact.

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