Who ARE these maniacs?!

Sikozu

It's the sound of a door being knocked off it's tracks!!

"What is this?" the Ilkog the Grudek leader growls, sounding vexed at the latest interruption.

Frankly, I would like to know that myself. Rather doubt that this latest interruption would be somebody would show up to just.....

"Oh, just a bunch of people looking for some fun," a sly, laughing female sounding voice says from out of sight. "That and we're looking for a pathetic looking human who usually needs his ass saved too many times we'd care to mention. Seen him?"

"Hey Chiana!" Crichton shouts. "We could use a hand in here! It sounded like you brought company by the sound of it and I hope to God that I'm right!"

"You might say that," Chiana shouts back.

"We have no quarrel with you!" shout's Ilkog, sounding suddenly worried at the turn of events. It sounds like, from muttering coming from the other way, that a LOT of these "friends" of Crichton have shown up. "No violence need be done here today between us. Just let us do our business here in peace and we shall not hinder your departure."

....

Not sure I am happy with the turn of events myself. While I do not wish to be killed by the Grudek, I do wish to complete my contract. Not have a black mark on my record and that means the Grudeks must be successful in harvesting their toubray tissue at least from this Leviathan.

Get more like this fool Crichton and I believe that won't be happening, I fear.

"Uh, let me offer my services here so that we spill no unnecessary blood," I begin, trying to mediate some kind of truce where something equitable for all can occur (and I can get back into Ilkog's good graces)! "My name is...."

"Is that the voice of that Psycho-zu who let these slijnots aboard?" Chiana asks, interrupting me rather rudely! "If so, then why the frell don't we just kill her and the rest of them and be done with it?!"

"Hm, they seem to know you so well Sputnik," Crichton laughs softly as I feel blood rush to my face in anger. "Better be careful here how you try to sell me out or my friends are going to have fun slitting you from crotch to eyeball with a dull deer antler."

Somewhere a strange whirring sound (accompanied with an odd clicking) plays in the background, audible despite that ever-present music that began ever since this fool next to me insisted on attacking the Grudeks back in the Pilot's Den.

Why? It's not like this . . . I mean, I explained why. It's for the best! Better a Leviathan who's destined to die of old age anyway instead of a healthy, young Leviathan! At least the death will serve a purpose....

"Quiet!" I hiss. "You have no right to judge me by your narrow--"

Inquirer

Snap!

Flipping the tricorder closed and looking over at Solik'tril Jones with his detecto-wand, who gestures at a tunnel off and away from both Crichton and these pirates.

Well, at least that is one less worry. What I saw from some of these Grudek pirates was frightening enough as it was! If this Ilkog had ANY idea what he was really standing next to he'd be begging us to help him!

...

Why in the Hell did that one monster inspired from that 1950's paranoia scifi flick have to make the scene here and now? I mean I liked that black and white movie called The Thing from Another World and actually liked the movie from the 80's that was based on it, The Thing. But not in real life, thank YOU! Would have almost preferred my favorite filmstar's breakout movie. Yeah, acid blooded alien creatures would be a MUCH better than this! Hell, the Thing from the 1950's movie would be better than this! This creature (or set of creatures from the readings) is more from the 1980's movie than the 1950's movie!

Passing along quickly the information/confirmation I got to my friends (who are used to sudden telepathic bolts from the blue), I turn back and gesture to the Doctor. The next part is his show, you know.

Despite myself, I feel myself smiling a small smile. Yes, despite him right now having better than your average Companions (even if I'm being less than perfectly humble when I am including myself in that list), sometimes he does like doing stuff like this.

The Doctor

"Okay," I hear the Crichton mutter to himself as Betty passes the word verbally to those that Inquirer hadn't bothered to mentally contact. "All too-normal-to-be-true-gal is beginning to frighten me here."

Honestly, I'm a touch disquieted about this business myself. I have seen both the black and white movie who's music is playing in the background and the remake of the same on earlier jaunts into the 1980's in my home universe and found both . . . wanting in several matters. Above all else, I had found them both laughable.

Now I and my friends are in a crossover that I find less than amusing!

"Listen to me," I say in a tone that was very serious, using every bit within me to convey to these Grudeks the seriousness of the warning I have to give them. "You have monsters in your midst that you must beware of. Your very lives are in danger if you fail to heed...."

Well, I give my warning and I fear I get the expected results. Yes, I admit that both Betty and Ragan warned that these pirates were not exactly the brightest bulbs in the chandelier, but Rygel's little . . . . gift to my warning failed to help matters at ALL! Not only is it malodorous, it....

"What the frell?!" one of the Chianas squeaks softly, pleasant voice raised to something akin to a cartoon character's shrill voice due to the presence of helium.

My own voice sounds like something from a Mickey Mouse cartoon myself, but one has to soldier on despite adversity, right? I would, though, just love to find out how Rygel managed this because I fail to understand how helium can be discharged with that malodorous gaseous discharge from his retched bowels! The humans of my reality at least got that right, you know. Yes, you can get neutrons to flow in a current (rather useful), but helium is an inert gas!

"What, you got an atomic reactor down there?" another Chiana (ours from what I see from the corner of my eye) gripes.

"It's a perfectly natural body function!" Rygel protests, voice also higher than normal. "I fail to see your surprise if your Rygel is also a Hynerion because...."

"Oh, he farts alright," my Chiana protests quietly, the others throwing in agreement. "But while they're rancid enough, there was nothing about helium in them!"

"You're kidding, right?" the other Crichton (the native to this Leviathan). Don't know whether he's speaking about my warning or this matter of . . . Hynerion flatulence!

"Oh Creator, another case of crossover physics...." Inquirer mutters, shaking her head.

....

Hm, not sure I agree with her worries about her Universal Physics Assimilation theory. What with all the obviously disparate universes having been put side by side due to this matter of the Dark Tower going into "Emergency Configuration"....

No, will tackle that matter later. Maybe it's a simple matter of distaste (do not fancy that my universe--or the Star Trek universe-- would be playing bully and making all it's neighboring alien universes suddenly switch over to it's way of doing things, physics wise). Do not care for that at all, but....

....

Sigh, later Doctor. Concentrate more on the task at hand and just (for right now) put this matter in the back of your mind and let that portion of your brain handle it. Must concentrate more on this matter and less on other matters, worrisome though they may be.

"Flee then!" the leader laughs, blowing off my warnings. "We shall face this . . . monster on our own without you!"

Must say I do not fancy the mockery in his voice!

"Have your way then," I sigh, checking my phasor one last time before we force the matter.

Why do the "bad guys" always have to do it the hard way?

Inquirer

"And the stupid shall be punished," I say aloud, quoting an old Military proverb, kind of looking forward to cleaning these Klingon wannabes clocks.

1. And yes, there was much screaming and cursing....and fear. Especially when those "It" infected Grudeks decided to show their true selves, really making things messy!

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