Game 3 Strikes

"Goodness!" he mutters to himself, head still spinning. "What hit me and how did I end up here? I'd been in the Den!"

For one brief moment the man known as Kaarvok wonders if maybe all those quakes who say that he had lost touch with reality (over such a petty manner as what his favorit dish is, of all things!) weren't really quakes after all!

Just as quickly he dismisses the thought as absurd. He just puts it down as . . . .sleepwalking! Yeah, that's the ticket, he had just been sleepwalking after the last meal he had!

Sometimes he did that, you know. Sleep off a particularly filling meal (and that Luxan had been SO filling). Can a gourmand be blamed for dreaming about food?

Though he did have to admit that that dream about him sampling that grey girl had been rather....odd at how it just cut out like that. That and this was the first time his dreams of food had been coupled with bouts of sleepwalking.

Oh well, there's always a first time for everything. At least his guest was still here by the sounds of it!

Now, the next part of this is in the format of a script (taken in part, shown in itallics, from http://www. johnskeed vabbq. com/ Transcripts /eatme. html). It happens this way because . . . . well, just because! Let's put it this way. When the Rules and Agents chose the reality for the Questers to go, they took into account certain things. Things like the familiarity that some of the chaperon Champions (i.e. Chiana, Betty, & Ragan) have with it! It's not always the case, but right now the Champions of Terra Prime are still in a "beginner" phase. Give them a few centuries, they'll be encountering stuff that they've never heard of before. Right now, they're in a phase that allows them to "learn the ropes".

Kaarvok strolls down a corridor, turning to enter a cell as the doors swing open ahead of him. He's greeted by familiar sounding snarls of rage accompanied by the clashing of chains. Kaarvok stops in the open doorway.

KAARVOK: Are you comfortable in there?

More snarls from an extremely pissed source, Kaarvok takes one step into the cell, the doors close behind him.

KAARVOK: Oh, do settle. You're being very angry.

Inside the cell, D'Argo, effectively restrained by chains, quivers with anger.

D'ARGO: What have you done to me?

KAARVOK: D'Argo, I saved you from the Xarai. You know, they're completely uncivilized.

D'ARGO: What have you done with Chiana?

KAARVOK: Chiana...?

D'ARGO: The Nebari!

KAARVOK: They gray girl. Yes. Very, very, very, very nice.

D'Argo growls.

KAARVOK: Really. Very nice. Were you close?

Kaarvok then pauses, blinking slightly in consternation. It had been a dream, after all. Wasn't like he had really happened. He hadn't gone up to see what Pilot was talking about. He hadn't really twinned this Chiana (though she had looked so tasty)!

Pity, but why bother dwelling on lost opportunities. Not like there wouldn't be other chances in the future.

D'ARGO: What have you done with her?!

KAARVOK: I haven't done anything. If she's unlucky, she'll be having her best bits eaten by the Xarai. A loss for me, but such as life....

D'Argo snarls, his lunge toward Kaarvok foreshortened by the chains.

KAARVOK: As I said, they're uncivilized. It's you I'm more concerned about.

D'ARGO: What have you done with me? I saw...

KAARVOK: Yes? You saw...? What did you see? ... Another D'Argo?

D'ARGO: You cloned me.

KAARVOK: Not the word "clone", please. I doubled you. I... "twinned" you. Two D'Argos. Equal... and original. And tasty. I've never twinned a Luxan before.

D'ARGO: Why me?

KAARVOK: We're going to make babies.

Kaarvok turns to exit the cell, D'Argo watching him go, exquisite confusion on his face.

D'Argo snarls and yanks on the restraining chains, as Kaarvok reappears outside the closed cell door.

KAARVOK: I can double you again. And again. And again. Look at the Peacekeepers.

D'ARGO: What Peacekeepers?

KAARVOK: All over the ship. The Xarai, I call them. Private joke. I once had a tame vangern called Xarai. As you can see, once you've been twinned thirty or fourty times... you're not much good for conversation. Not that you're especially witty right now.

A muted whimpering growl from something out of sight continues over their conversation, and something tugs at a rope Kaarvok holds in one hand. Kaarvok impatiently glances at whatever it is.

KAARVOK: Hold still!

The cell door swings open.

D'ARGO: I can help you get off this ship.

KAARVOK: Why should I want to do that?

D'ARGO: Because this ship is dying. It's rotting to pieces all around you.

KAARVOK: This is my home. All I need is more, what... food? Family? Is there a difference?

Kaarvok ponders the question briefly.

KAARVOK: D'Argo... you know how painful it is. I'm willing to spare you the pain of a whole half-cycle. As long as you breed for me.

D'ARGO: Breed? With what?

KAARVOK: D'Argo... meet Belima.

Kaarvok pulls on the rope, drawing a wildly feral 'Peacekeeper female' into the room.

KAARVOK: I-I'm sorry... I... I think I twinned her... a little too often.

D'Argo eyes the snarling chick with serious misgivings, she doesn't seem 'too' inconvenience by the idea.

Kaarvok pauses as he feels a hunger pange.

"But that aside that can wait for a moment I fear," he sighs. "Do appologise for the change in plans in midstream, but sometimes we cannot help how it works, eh? Let us just say that while dreams can be delicious at times, they're hardly filling!"

Pausing only to fasten the leash holding Belina to a wall, Kaarvok zaps D'Argo with his wonder device.

He's hungry and the Luxan WAS rather tasty!

But the results, once the limp form is revealed after the "special effects" fade, is rather not what Kaarvok had expected at all!

"Oh my!" he blinks at the female Luxan (looking vagually like that one youthened Orican from the Farscape episode Vitas Mortis) now still chained in the place where the male Luxan had been. "This has never happened before!"

What and why?! Well, do remember that this fun Farscape crossover is having a close encounter with Game 3.

1. What and why?! Well, do remember that this fun Farscape crossover is having a close encounter with Game 3. In effect, we have a gender bender gun on our hands here!!

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