The William Shatner Anti-Defamation League

The look of absolute startlement on my double's face would almost be comical, if I were in any mood for humor. But I don't think insulting my captain is funny. It's especially not funny when I've just seen him shot, injured in the course of trying to protect his crew... And it's even harder to take when it comes from somebody who, incredibly, looks just like me.

"Chekov," says a voice at my elbow. "Put him down. He wasn't talking to Kirk, for gods' sakes!"

"He vas!" I say. "I saw him!" Admittedly, Captain Kirk, like this fellow, looked older (doubtless some artifact of time and dimensional travel; I'm sure Spock could explain it), but it was definitely Kirk.

"They're actors. You know, on TV. Put him down!" Ragan's voice finally penetrates the haze of my anger. Inquirer's fingers fold over mine to pry loose my grip on the man, and, feeling slightly ashamed, I let go.

The man immediately starts screaming for security.

Several people start to speak at once. I hear the Doctor urging the fellow to calm down, Ragan blurting out some incoherent explantion about me being the president of the William Shatner Anti-Defation League or something, and someone else -- I can't quite tell who -- saying "Oh, here we go" in a disgusted voice.

At this point, several very large men show up. They're wearing some kind of body armor and badges that say "security," and if it weren't for the strange bumps on their heads, I'd swear they looked like Klingons.

1. "Er, sorry," I say, wondering if now is the time to make a break for it...

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