Ulrike Opens up

Ulrike looks at my plate, and says, "The pasta is good. Lots and protein of fat from the cheese and meat, which you will need. Don't skimp on the vegetables. Look for the borscht, or for the steamed Brussels sprouts and carrots. You get vitamins and minerals, and it makes you feel better. I see too many women not eating right and they get tired and depressed."

"So are you like the food nanny?" I ask.

"If you want me to! I was a dietician before I came here. There were too many people that were not eating the right food, and part of my job was getting them to eat better. So I am not trying to make you feel bad. I am trying to make you feel better."

I thank her. I give her a little of my background, that I had studied the law, but was just starting my career. I tell her that I notice that she has a slight accent that I could not place. She opens up, "I was born in 1987, lived in Berlin, and worked in public health. I am married to my husband David, and had two children before coming here, Andreas and Karl. It is funny, you told me how you were brought here. You were indoors, in a market. I was outdoors, and I arrived in this place dressed the same way I arrived into the world. I needed a break from some of political nonsense at work, and so I go to the park. The sun was shining, for the first time in a while, so I go sunbathing." I remember that some of the public parks in Europe have areas designated for nude sunbathing. "There were a few people there, but not too many - mostly pensioners. I saw a flash of light. I remember squinting and looking up to see what it was. I see a disk - like somebody threw a Frisbee and lost control of it. I try to move away from it, but then I think - oh, that is big. I am scared a little bit, because it looks more like a trash can lid or something heavy and I might get hurt. I go through - and I am still outside, but nobody is around, and it is twilight. Then these two men in uniform come up, and tell me to come with them. And they are speaking in English! And I tell them that they are not real police, and to go away. But what could I do? I could run, but to where? And there were two of them, so I did not fight.

That is scary. I ask, "Did they do anything to you?"

She looks at me as if she didn't understand the question, and says, "Yes, they did do something. They took me here. But, they did not try to 'take advantage of the situation' as they saying goes. They explained to me that German and European law did not apply here, and what they say, goes. That is simple and understandable, at least, even though it is not very nice."

I say, "Yes, I agree. How do you stand it? It seems like the people running this place are constantly degrading and humiliating us."

Ulrike says, "I do not look at it that way. I had a good life in Germany, but it was not perfect. I do not have such a good life here, but it is not hopeless."

I am silent. "So are you one of the surrogates? Or do you work for the Vorkons? You don't look like you are expecting."

Ulrike replies, "I have had two since coming here." I notice that Caroline is looking up again.

I am uncomfortable. "I don't want to get too personal, Ulrike, but how did that work? I know that the day is coming for me. After pregnancy, what happens?"

Ulrike paused and gathered her thoughts. Caroline was staring at her with interest. Ulrike closed her eyes. "I can tell you my experience, but it may not apply to you. When it came time for the first child to be delivered, they did some special things. The lights were a dim red-orange, sort of like an old-fashioned dark room, you know, that you might see in the films. The air was different, too. The air was very good, very refreshing. It was a little harder for me to hear. That might have been the air, too. The first child was a girl. It was dim, but she looked a normal child for the most part. Her eyes were big, maybe, and there was reflection from the eyes if the light caught it in the right way, like that of a cat. Maybe she was a little shorter than my two sons, but I would not call it a lot shorter. Kind of normal range. But Alice - I called her Alice - was very much like a normal baby. Liked to play. I was left alone for four months. Then some of the doctors took her away for an hour, but returned her. It happened more often, and for longer times, until one day she didn't come back. With the boy, Bob, it was much the same. Except...."

I am staying silent. She continues. "I am not sure that I am not imagining things. But when I raised the boy, when the doctors came to start taking him away, one of the doctors was a little different. Healthy looking but short,curly hair, well groomed beard and mustache. I would not have thought too much of that - but I saw the cat-eye gleam before they took Bob away for the last time. Or thought I saw it. And - I don't know what to make of this - I thought I heard a voice, like when I read a book and hear a voice in my head, but it is not mine - I thought I heard him talk to me. Like a voice-over in the movies. And he said very clearly, 'Thank you, Ulrike. We will raise him and take care of him.' And it is like, he gave me a look, like he did something that he should not have done by talking to me, and looked away. And the funny thing was, he spoke German, not English. Did I imagine it? I do not think so, but I do not know."

I don't know what to say. Caroline helps me out, though. "What do you think happened to Lee?"

Ulrike replies, "I did not see her while I was nursing Bob. I am sorry that I don't know any more."

Caroline says, "I need to be going. I am not sick, but I just need to escape into something else for a while. I would do dishes for a month just to read an old copy of People magazine.

1. I finish my lunch.

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