Flat Out

Some unknown time later I come round, feeling very woozy. I am lying flat on my back on the exam table. For a moment I wonder where I am and what has happened, but then my memory returns. I attempt to sit up, but the anaesthetic hasn't worn off enough yet and I slump back down again.

The doctor has noticed the movement, though. "Ah good, you're awake," he says. "I sedated you, as you had given the impression of being less than co-operative."

My mind is still rather fuzzy, but eventually his words penetrate. "What did you do to me?" I manage to slur.

1. "I may as well tell you, as I suppose it will be obvious. I've been working on a new depilatory cream. There's a big market for something that will remove unwanted hair permanently. To test it thoroughly, I've removed all your hair except your eyelashes,"
2. "I may as well tell you, as I suppose it will become obvious before long."
3. "What I've attempted to do is greatly enhance your strength, without producing any visible change in your appearance. We use girls for our slaves because they are more amenable, but until now they have struggled with jobs involving heavy manual labour."
4. "As I said, you don't need to know."
5. "What I attempted seems to have failed, unfortunately."

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