A Battle for Control

"I've got a gift for it," you say, effortlessly reasserting your rightful status as the viewpoint character from the wimpish "I". "And there's nothing that you bunch of losers can do about it. That document will never stand up in court. Anyway, I don't really understand why you're all complaining. When the story is focusing on me, it gives the rest of you the opportunity to go off and do other things. To take just one example, Fred and Astra would never have been able to have wed in secret if the attention of all of the authors hadn't been fixed on me at the time."

"I should have thought that the reason why we don't like it is obvious," Scott Chen replies. "We're all exhibionists who want to be at the centre of attention. Take her for example." He points at Astra. "Oh sure, it was originally the writers' fault that she couldn't wear any clothes. But when the authors shifted their attention away from her for a while, did she take the opportunity to get dressed? No, she did not. She even got married in the nude."

"Did you really?" I say, managing to seize back control whilst you appear to be momentarily distracted by the thought of Astra coming up the aisle starkers. "I suppose that when you're a princess - or a duchess - then you can get away with that sort of thing."

"Yes," Astra responds, "though the bishop who officiated at the ceremony did seem to be a little flustered. But you know, it's so long since I've worn any clothes, that I simply forgot that I could."

"Forgot?!" I exclaim. "How could you possibly forget?"

"I don't know. Fred, why didn't you remind me?"

"Me? So it's my fault now, is it?"

"Of course it is," Bobo says. "I've handled enough divorce cases to have learnt that in a marriage everything is always the husband's fault."

1. Further bickering.
2. You seize control again.

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