In the Dungeon of Wanda
The Black Void - Episode 57
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The very same witch he’d dated all those years ago. Duncan was young by
necromancer standards, just over 100 years old. He’d just finished his
studies at the world renowned NecroAcademy of Wayfeendom when he met her.
Back then her face hadn’t been so warty and she even had a few of her
teeth left. Hell, in those days she hardly smelt of stale cat urine at
all! But their relationship had soured over time. Wanda was always
nagging about something. It was always, ‘Duncan do this’
and ‘Duncan do that’. And when he disobeyed her, there was always hell to
pay. A man can only take so much, and our beloved necromancer eventually
fled from the swamps of Wayfeendom and relocated to Groydon.
Almost immediately Duncan realized where he was. This was the very same cell he’d been locked up in that night when he refused to go to the corner store to pick up some eye of newt, toward the end of their love affair. What was it with witches and eye of newt, anyway, he always secretly wondered. Over in the corner was the all-too-familiar blood stain. The annoying drip-drip of water falling from the low ceiling still echoed through the chamber. Those slimy black bricks, as slimy and black as ever. The slit in the wall that allowed just the faintest amount of the sun’s rays to pour through and dispel the terrifying darkness. All of it was just as he remembered. And then he heard that evil cackle. That cackle he had tried for so long to forget. “Wanda,” he said solemnly. “We meet again.” He turned to face her, and cringed at what he saw.Time had not been kind to Wanda. She was pale, prune-faced, bow-legged, hunched over, wart-covered...and those were her good traits. I won’t even go into her bad ones... “I just knew your curiousity would get the better of you,” the wicked old hag snarled. Lime-green snot bubbles popped in her huge, hairy nostriles as she continued her fit of wild laughter. Some of the snot bubbles even survived being popped and floated about her head. Quite remarkable, really. “Didn’t I warn you that I’d find you again, Duncan!? Did you think I was joking!?”Duncan just shook his head. “Mmmm,” Wanda drooled, eyeing her ex-boyfriend lustfully. “You’re still as sexy as I remember you! Remember the way we used to make nooky? We’d hump like wild animals for hours and...”Duncan tried hard to suppress the nauseous feeling building in his gut, but to no avail. In one violent upheaval he released his lunch onto the cold dungeon floor. A shame, too. It had been a wonderful meatball sandwich. The wicked witch didn’t seem to care. “We’re going to have so much fun!” she declared, licking her purple lips. “Not only are we going to make wild love but you get to help me with my latest spell; the Infernal Rite of the Thirty Low-Beasts of Damnation! Mwuhahaha!”Duncan sighed. “You’ve been working on that spell ever since I knew you...” “That’s right! And now I’m finally ready! And when I do cast it, I shall become the most powerful witch in the world!!!”That same, tired old line, Duncan reflected. “Well,” Wanda continued ranting, “enough talk. I haven’t had a man in over 50 years! Isn’t this romantic, my love?” She began to undress herself. “Just like old times!”Uh-oh... Things are looking pretty grim for poor Duncan...
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Lost Soldier
12/2/2004 8:19:43 AM
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