Cry of Distress

"A dishtress call!" Zora slurs, nuzzling you affectionately. "Time to shave some peoplesh in dishtress and... zZzZzZzZzzZzZzz"

Zora has passed out on top of you.

"Patching the distress call through to main intercom," says the computer voice as you gasp and struggle to free yourself from the crushing weight that seems to be bending your spine in ways it simply wasnt meant to be.

"Whoever is recieving this transmission please help us immediately!" shouts a frantic voice over the intercom, as female screams and explosions can be heard in the background. "For the love of God send assistance! This is the research vessel Trotsky's Icepick and we are under attack by the disciples of Josh Burbank at the outer rim of the Nebulon Nebula! Its sheer madness in here! Save us! Ayeeeee!!!"

You finally manage to wriggle out from under Zora's unconscious body and run to the bridge. Blank and the Janitor are also here. "Status report!" you yell crisply as you jump in the captain's chair. Suddenly you realize you are wearing nothing but a tank-top and frilly white undies, but this is no time for modesty. Lives are at stake.

"We can reach the Nebulon Nebula in 5 minutes at maximum warp, captain," the Janitor says. "But this is a pet hunter vessel, not equipped for deep- space combat. The Disciples could make short work of us depending on the size and capacity of their fleet."

"We go!" Blank grunts. "No real Space Pirate can walk away from a fight! I know my ship and I know my crew! We can do this!"

"Its not up to you, its up to the Captain!" the Janitor insists. Suddenly two pairs of eyes are focused on you expectantly, watching your every move, evaluating your every action, as if waiting for you to say or do something. You pause to take a deep breath and say...

1. "Set course for the Nebulon Nebula! Its time to kick some religious zealot booty!"
2. "I-I dont know... um... what should we do.. I just dont know... I'm sorry..."
3. "Its not worth the risk! We turn and run with our tails between our legs, boys!"
4. "We cant ignore lives in danger but we cant risk our own ship either! Draw us in closer so we can assess the situation better before making our decision!"

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