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My first feelings are those of relief. I'm not ready to be a mom yet.
Maybe if I was back
home, and married, but not here and now in these circumstances. I hadn't
been a virgin when
I was brought to the harem, of course, but I was always very... careful
with my previous
lovers. I'm glad my first unprotected encounter didn't result in
pregnancy.
I also feel guilty for feeling relieved, if that makes any sense. I know, deep down, that for everyone else this is bad news. It makes unseating Arif even harder, if not impossible. Even my own life is in greater danger as a result of this outcome. I'm not sure how to feel, exactly. I send a message through Munaf to Captain Usman. A few days later, Munaf wakes me in the middle of the night. "Usman wants to meet with you." he says, tossing me a black robe. "I will sneak you out into the west courtyard. The guards we will pass are trustworthy." I draw the robe on over my scanty harem garb and follow Munaf silently. We pass a handful of guards along our route through the palace's hallways. Finally, we make it to the darkened courtyard. The captain greets me with a slight nod. "So, I take it you received my message?" "Indeed. It is most unfortunate. This plan was a long shot at any rate, even more so now. The council of ministers is set to vote on Arif's ascention tomorrow. There are a few who are willing to delay this if we can provide proof of an heir. But that is now impossible." "So, there's nothing more we can do?" I ask, frustrated.
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6/23/2006 7:54:19 PM
Extending Enabled
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