The Grateful Dead

The Black Void - Episode 1081

I go to see the local coroner, a pale gangly vulture-featured fellow with a penchant for black clothing, who works out of a darkened store at the back of the local mall. It appears that he also works as an undertaker, and the dark wall behind his blackened desk is decorated with pictures of presumably satisfied clients, including several snapshots of one Josh Burbank. A sign at the top reads "THE GRATEFUL DEAD"
Ouch.

"How may I help you?" he hisses as he rubs his hands creakily.

"I need a death certificate."

He leans over to look behind me and says: "Should have brought the body. House calls are extra."

"I did. It's... me."

He shakes his head. "You are very much alive. I'd wager my fee on it."

"Yes, but I'm going to die soon," I explain. "You see, I have this book..." I hold up the book to show him.

  1. He jumps to his feet, frothing at the mouth. "Get that accursed thing out of here!" he screams.
  2. He bursts into laughter. "Oh, that old thing!" he gasps.
  3. He looks thoughtfully at me. "Sorry, I can not certify your death. yet. But I can always verify your gullibility. And, of course, validate your parking."
  4. He smirks evilly at me and says: "Congratulations, you passed the first test."
  5. He draws a sword with his left hand and intones in a heavy Spanish accent: "Hello! I am Inego Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"
  6. He gasps and drops dead.

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2/9/2009 7:13:01 AM

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