How Long Can Disco On

Instead, Neil is walking down a dark and lonely paved roadway...with Richard Nixon following him at a distance, screaming at him the whole way.

"Okay, Nixon, this is getting old," Harris yells back. "Can you please back the hell off for a while?"
"NO, I WON'T ACCEPT ANY OF YOUR DOPE!!"
"I don't have any drugs, you old imbecile! What the fuck are you talking about anyway?!"
"YOU'RE A HOMOSEXUAL, AND ALL HOMOSEXUALS HAVE DRUGS!"
"That is not true!"
"STOP ASKING ME TO ENGAGE IN FILTHY SEXUAL ACTS WITH YOU!!"
"Jesus Christ, how could anyone as ignorant as you get elected President?!"
"I WILL NOT TOSS YOUR SALAD OR GIVE YOU A REACHAROUND!"
"Okay, how do you know about doing things like that, Nixon? Huh?!"

Richard Nixon, finding himself in an incredibly awkward situation that he will not emerge unscathed from, finds himself speechless. "Come on, Nixon! How do you know about salad tossing?"

Finally, the disgraced former President speaks: "NO, I WILL NOT SELL WEAPONS TO CHINA!"

1. At least Nixon finally got his mind off of drugs and gay sexual acts.
2. Harris continues down the road, without Nixon following him.
3. Harris continues down the road, still with Nixon behind him, now denying his role in Watergate.
4. A rescue helicopter flies overhead. Harris signals for it to land.
5. Richard Nixon explodes.

Add New Option

Go Back

View Forward Story Tree
View Back Story Tree