STOP HOUNDING NIXON!

"Look, can you tell me where I am?" Harris says. "I'm really, really lost--"

"HIPPIE!" screams Nixon. "GAY HIPPY!"

Harris stares at him, open mouthed. "I...uhh....," he starts. Finally, he sighs. "Yes, I'm gay. Yes, my life partner is a male. It doesn't matter, since all I want is some direct--"

Nixon recoils. "NO, DON'T TOUCH ME!" he screams.

Harris stares. "Okaaaaay....we'll try this again. I need some directions. Where's the nearest--"

"NO, I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU!" Nixon howls. "I AM NOT GAY! I AM NOT A HIPPY!"

"..the nearest gas station--"

"I DO NOT WANT DRUGS FROM YOU! STOP OFFERING ME DRUGS!"

"--I can pay you--"

"NO METH OR POPPERS! NO DRUGS! DIRTY HIPPIES!"

"If you've got a cell phone I can borrow--"

"NO, I WON'T GIVE YOU ORAL SEX! STOP HOUNDING ME!"

1. Neil Patrick Harris gives up and leaves Nixon alone.
2. ...we follow Harris
3. Nixon follows Harris for miles, still screaming at him to stop offering him because he's straight and totally not a hippy, dammit.
4. Nixon panics and climbs a tree. Harris attempts to calm him down.
5. Tommy Chong wanders by and offers them both some smoke.
6. Britney Spears rides by on a purple unicorn.
7. Nixon panics and runs away. He stops running several miles later, in the middle of a strange town.

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