Mister Would You Please Help My Pony

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 91158

Moments after Bill Murray has made his phone call, trying as best he could to explain the situation, because quite frankly, he was totally at a loss to describe it, a familiar dimunitive man in paint-spattered overalls, a painters' cap and a permanent smile appears on the scene, apparently oblivious to the carnage surrounding the scene.

"Bill, you called for me?" Help asks.
"Yes!" is all Bill can stammer, as he's still bumfuzzled at what was going on.
"Help, you gotta help our friend Josh!" Jasper says.
"Josh, eh? He's an odd duck, isn't he? Where's the lad at?"
"L-LOOK AROUND!!" Sara says, pointing frantically in all directions, up included.

Help takes a good look around, and his usual smile and warm eyes are both replaced by a look of complete and utter disbelief. Sara, Bill and Jasper quickly discern that from the stunned look on his face, Help is feeling a little bit, shall we say, helpless right now.

"What the hell did he do?" Help finally asks. "Never mind that! I think I have an idea what he did. And do you guys know what? I hate to say this, but for all of the things I've done for you folks over the years, I...I can't fix this."

Bill, Sara and Jasper are momentarily rendered speechless. Finally, Murray speaks: "WHAT? Whaddya mean you can't fix this?! You're HELP! That's what you do! There isn't a thing you can't do!"

Help gently holds up a hand towards Bill Murray's face. "Hang on, soldier. I wasn't finished just yet. Sure, I can help fix this! But, understand lady and gentlemen, that your ol' buddy Help needs a little help for this job." Help calmly pulls out his own cell phone and begins dialing.

Three minutes later, a loud trumpet fanfare fills the air, and an unseen announcer yells out "Here comes Captain Continuity!!"

The good Captain gracefully lands in front of Help. "Help, I got your message. Believe me, I could smell it at least five miles away. I digress, though. In mere moments, I will bring Josh Burbank back!"

Captain Continuity uses his infinite control over the timestream to carefully manipulate matters so that while everything else that has happened up until now stays intact, only Josh Burbank's sudden massive weight gain, subsequent death, and cataclysmic explosion never occurs. There's a very quick flash of bright light, and a normal sized Josh Burbank appears before the group. Also, having used his power, Captain Continuity is subjected to the consequences of his actions: being changed into an animal for a 24 hour period. The good Captain is transformed into a Chartreux cat. He meows once and leaps into Sara's arms.

"Josh, it's good to have you back again, buddy," says Murray, extending a hand to Josh, which he shakes.
"Hey Josh, I needed a little bit of help bringing you back this time," Help adds. "Thanks, everyone. I appreciate it." Josh replies.
Sara is too busy cuddling the feline version of Captain Continuity to respond.

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Ben McClellan

10/31/2010 7:55:47 PM

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