I Heart New York

From your vantage point atop a skycraper, you follow the action around you with a set of binoculars while cackling gleefully.

A couple of hundred feet beneath you, you see an AT-AT's head swinging back and forth as it rakes the retreating Imperials with blaster fire--apparently the carjackers have been busy today, since it's joined by half-a-dozen scout walkers. Suddenly one of the scouts explodes in a fireball as an Imperial Saber tank rounds a corner. The other mechs scatter as the tank opens fire--you think at first that the Imperials are actually rallying against the feral citizenry of New York, but you pick out the Stormtrooper helmets someone has crudely affixed to the armor--it was simply hijacked by another bunch of carjackers. Presently more tanks roll into view, firing at each other, the AT-AT's, and any invaders who happen to get in the way.

A few seconds later, a disorganized mob of stormtroopers charges into view, chased by a far larger mob of angry New Yorkers armed with everything from machine guns to captured blasters to butcher knives and Molotovs. The exhausted soldiers find themselves in an alley with no exit, and turn to make a final stand, only to be slaughtered in about eight seconds flat by the ravening mob, which holds their severed heads aloft while screaming incoherently. The building shakes--a few dozen blocks distant, you see a skyscraper falling over sideways, smashing even more Imperials beneath it. Frenzied mobs of enraged Terrans start pulling the survivors from the rubble and tearing them to pieces. You see a homeless bum running from the scene carrying a stolen blaster rifle and someone's bloody scalp tied to his belt. He's cut down by another Stormtrooper, but in the following second, someone in a Hemicuda runs him down in the street.

"New York 1, Imperials 0," you chuckle.

1. Earth declares war on the Galactic Empire and wins through sheer crazy.
2. Suddenly, New Jersey invades.
3. You decide to go down to street level to appreciate the carnage on a more personal level.
4. Watching invasions end in total rout builds up an appetite. Time for cheesesteaks!
5. You videotape the whole thing, add a laugh track and wacky sound effects, and send it to AFV.

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