Northiness

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 86747

The knight answered, "A question about the northiness of something is fair. The world that we are on can be considered a globe."

The Story Cop said, "Actually, your envirnoment is frinny, with quite a bit of twaa as well. So your world does not have to be a sphere.

The knight replied, "I have no idea what you are talking about." Exasperated, he said, "You both know what a globe is, right?"

"Yes," said the unicorn (for this interest is in her unicorniness and not her Valarieness) and the Story Cop. They said this in unison, with a decent enough harmony, although Fred and Valarie did better in episode 34580.

"If I were at the south pole, my northiness would be none at all, as I am as far away from the north as I could get. If I were at the North Pole, then I would have the maximum possible northiness."

The unicorn replied, "But if you were at the equator, you would have no northiness at all, the same as at the South Pole. So you are talking nonsense."

The Story Cop commented, "If you are using degrees of latitude as your measure, then Fred is strictly speaking correct. At the equator, Fred would be standing at zero degrees north, or south. At the south pole, he is at ninety degrees south, but it could also be said that he is at negative ninety degrees north - the minimum possible northiness."

Valarie (for this emphasis is on her Valariness here, and not her unicorniness) replied, "But it is rarely ninety degrees at the North Pole. It is usually quite cold."

The Story Cop said, "You are under arrest for paranomasia."

The unicorn replied, "Good heavens, what is that?"

The Story Cop said, "The act of punning with malice aforethought."

  1. Valarie answers the Story Cop.
  2. Fred said, "I thought that you were going to charge her with being a smartass."
  3. The Story Cop said, "And besides that, you are using the Fahrenheit or Celsius scale. Ninety degrees Kelvin is quite cold."
  4. And with that, Valarie is sent to another series of episodes.

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5/31/2009 12:23:44 AM

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