Suicide in third person

"What are you idiots doing?" Felina screams.

"I'm killing me," you reply. "That is, him."

Felina sighs. "But you can't do that! You're both you, so if you kill you, you will both die!"

"It would be worth it to escape from this crazy story!" you, that is the other you, snarl.

"Who asked you?"

"I asked myself. That is, you."

You shake your head and turn back to Felina. "Are you sure?"

"Quite sure. You are both you, so if you die, you die too. If you both lived and died you would be like Schrödinger's cat."

"I don't know this Schrödinger!" you protest. "If his cat is dead, I'm sorry but I didn't do it. This time."

Felina stares at you in shock. "This time?!"

Before you can explain, the other you takes advantage of the distraction and kills you. Bummer.

1. As you lie bleeding out on the floor, you have the final satisfaction of seeing you, meaning him, the other you, drop dead on top of you. The story now follows Felina, alone with two dead guys.
2. As you lie bleeding out on the floor, you are disappointed to see the other you, him, standing over you gloating. Save for his battle wounds, he is in perfect health. The story now follows Felina and the other you.
3. This time? Sounds like a flashback hook to me, buddy.
4. Felina the human university professor wakes from a strange dream and realizes she spent far too much time last night preparing for today's lecture about Schrödinger's cat.
5. Raymond Chandler comes bursting into the room with a gun in his hand.

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