Fish & Chips
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 80249
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“How about fish & chips?” the gnarled old necromancer suggests, gesturing
at the still-floundering fish that had been two fine, tempered
swords...once upon a time. His mood seems to have changed considerably.
Obviously he only had a momentary lapse in patience and has dealt with
knights before. It’s just been awhile, is all. “Lovely,” Fred
beams. “And put some tea
on! I like mine with cream and two lumps, if you please. And what have
you got in the way of alcohol? Wine sounds nice. Red. And how about a
spinach salad with a light Vinaigrette dressing? Chop, chop. Don’t forget
the after lunch mint, either.” “Very good,” the mage declares. “Have a seat, rest your feet, and please don’t meddle with the tome there.” He extends a knobby finger at the pedestal that dominates the center of his clamy chamber. “Or anything else, for that matter. I’ll be back in a jiff. And just so we’re clear, you are accepting my services on your quest to slay the dragon, correct?” Fred seems intrigued by this notion. “Go on,” he goads him. “Splendid!” And at that he disappears behind an archway that must lead to a kitchen of some sort.Fred takes a seat at one of three stools surrounding a small, round table that seems to be hewn out of the very earth beneath him and takes a moment to more thoroughly inspect his surroundings. The magical orb from before is gone, in it’s stead the room is lit by the ambient flickering of a few wall mounted torches. The rest of the walls are obscured entirely by floor to ceiling bookshelves and counters filled to the brink with beakers and vials and strange bubbling cauldrons. A vague mustiness pervades the air, though the abrupt gust from the tunnel he had passed through earlier dissipates it. Other smells waft through the air, tickling his nose, not the least of which is that of fried fish. “Mmmm,” he drools. “Fishy...” Suddenly he realizes that he’s...not alone. Instinctively he reaches for his sword...only to discover it’s missing. “Dammit,” he silently curses. “At least I’m an ardent fan of cod.”The figure advances on him from across the room in slow, slogging steps. It looks to be vaguely...feminine. One thing is certain, however...it’s been dead a while. “Just a zombie,” Fred breaths with relief. Zombies were only a concern when amassed in large numbers. And, as any vetted knight knows, they didn’t even eat human brains unless explicitly ordered to by a zombie-master. Mostly they just wandered around aimlessly.Minutes pass, and amazingly Fred stays put and doesn’t cause any mischief. Finally, Belboz appears from around the corner with his tray of goodies hovering beside him. Fred claps his hands in delight. “It’s about time I got some proper service!” he exclaims. “I see you met my wife!” Belboz declares, gazing adoringly at the undead minion trudging laboriously across the chamber. “Isn’t she a pretty thing! We met three years ago in a cemetery. It was love at first sight.”Fred’s eyes bulge from his skull in revulsion. “You...make love to that...monstrosity!?” he reels. Belboz casually nods. “You bet your beard I do! Every night and every morning!”“Good God, man! She’s dead!” “Yesssss...and I’m a necromancer...that encompasses necrophilia. Don’t judge me.”“Whatever floats your boat,” Fred concedes. “Let’s eat.” Belboz nods. “Let’s!”
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8/18/2008 6:40:48 PM
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