Smoking Pot In The Abandoned Store's Parking Lot.

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 80158

Scott, Josh, Sara and Jasper are sitting on the curb in front of the 'Stop and Shop'. The full moon beats down straight overhead, turning the bright, freshly-paved lot into a sea of diamonds. The long-dead road-sign seems to sway slighty as various thin clouds race by above. The scattered evergreens on the far side of the road swish slightly. Somewhere is the clatter of hooves as wildlife crosses the two-lane road.
The UFO, under the influence of a badly programmed auto-pilot, had lifted off long ago and, unbeknowst to the Dorksome Foursome, settled upside down in the middle of a Greyhound Rescue exercise field. It has been emitting toxic by-products for the past half-hour, killing every moose in ten miles. Being that there were only two elderly moose in the entire state (one two miles away) this wasn't going to be much of a problem. Stupid moose. Anyway...
All four humans are stoned silly and gently, softly singing the theme song to Friends. Somehow, Jasper has, admirably, filled every possible word with something obscene and gross. And it makes sense. None of the other three recognize this accomplishment as they are all baked stupid. The song ends and Josh lets out a one-cheek squeak.
"Dudes!" Sara said, motioning at nothing in paticular. "We should like do something with this store behind us!"
"What?" said Jasper, who then farts so hard his cheeks hurt.
"Remmber?" said Sara, facing Scott purely by accident. "It's been like abandoned for eight years and everything inside is filthy and we're not even sure if the clerk is alive or not!"
"I got it!" said Josh. "Does this place sell...porno?"
"No! No it doesn't!" Sara gestures wildly. "This state has laws against it! It does have some old comics."
"Dude." said Scott. "Comics from the year 2000? I'd rather eat a booger."
Jasper becomes convinced that his knees are slightly more tan then they really are. Josh blearily peers at the store's front door.

  1. Josh enters.
  2. Josh pinches Scott's ear.
  3. Josh farts.
  4. Scott enters the store.
  5. Jasper goes to the grassy border between the road and the parking lot and steals an advertising sign.
  6. Sara notices a gas pump at the far end of the lot. "A dollar four a gallon!" she giggles. "Fuck you, Mr. President."
  7. There is a rumble. A thirty foot high mechanical circle, with a truck cab INSIDE the circumfence, bristling with weaponry, rolls by from left to right.
  8. Jasper finds a payphopne next to the store's entrance. He soon discovers every time he holds down '3' for two seconds, a quarter shoots out at a high velocity.
  9. Scott finds the newspaper machine. The paper displayed in the window is from 2012! Apparently Canada went to war with Bermuda...wth.
  10. Sara finds a payphone at the far end of the parking lot. A business card advertises a 1800 number for G-Rated chat about life in general. Yes, G-rated.

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8/31/2008 9:40:27 PM

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