not so much common sense

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 80006

How was Fred to get past the lad? This impetuous, rude, commoner, waste-of-space is blocking his path, but he absolutely must speak to the magistrate! And then Fred has an idea. A horrible, stupid, worthless idea, but he gets them so rarely that he went ahead and siezed it.

"I know!" he says out loud to no one in particular. "I will go consult the Oracle of the Goth!" and then he leaves to do just that. The lad lowered his spear, shaking his head.

"I gotta get a better job..." says the lad. Meanwhile, Lord Fred is getting provisions for his three hundred and eighty six mile journey to the Oracle. Across the Hideous Plains of Dismemberment, through the Mountain Pass of Nearly Certain Death by Needles, and through the Valley of More than Slightly Annoying Pixies, lay the Mountain of Seriously F*cking Your Day Up, or Mountanis Oshitis at the peak of which was the tiny hut of the Oracle of the Goth. He would know the answer to Fred's dilemma!

It should be mentioned, as Fred purchases provisions from a list he always kept on his person should he need to go to the Oracle, that Fred is correct about the Oracle having answers to many questions. It is also true that the Oracle can probably help Fred in his current predicament. However, it is even more true that Fred does not need help and could easily do other things to get information to the magistrate, not even bringing up that Fred really shouldn't be reporting to the magistrate considering he is the one who did the crime! However, Fred is not thinking of those things. In fact, he isnt thinking much at all.

This is evidenced by the fact that when Fred finally sets out on his journey he has a pack mule carrying lots of fresh meat, no preserved food, no climbing gear, sixteen pounds of tobacco, twenty gallons of grog, and no flint and steel. Way to go, Fred.

  1. We fast forward to Fred, with violent diahrrea from the spoiled meat, about to be dismembered.
  2. We fast forward to Fred, dying of dehydration and pierced by eight dozen sharp poison-tipped needles.
  3. We fast forward to Fred, smoking tobacco in the Valley of the Slightly Annoying Pixies. His dinner? Pixies. Fred re-names the valley "The Valley of the More than Slightly Delicious Pixies"
  4. We fast forward to Fred, fighting three monstrous gibbering beasts on the Mountain.
  5. No, we don't fast forward at all, we follow Fred on the road out of the village.

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Lord Reaibn Daenorth

8/14/2008 7:24:58 AM

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