Gas Theft
The Never Ending Quest - Episode 79556
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"Sometime today?" yells the Gray at the porthole. Sara has a brainwave. "Hey, the clerk is dead, right? This place has been deserted for years! We can pump his tank full, then we just pocket the money and leave." "But that's stealing!" says Jasper. Sara clouts him. "Coming!" Sara yells, and goes out to the pump. "Welcome to Westserv! Sorry for the delay. So, what can I do for you today?" "One tank of midgrade," says the alien. Sara waves her hand at Jasper, still within the store. He turns the pumps on, while Sara opens the fuel hatch on the UFO. "So, been coming to Earth much?" she says. The alien just glowers. She gives up her weak attempt at small talk. The tank is huge and the pump is slow--it takes nearly fifteen minutes to fill it. It occurs to Sara that someone has to have been coming here off and on to update the prices, which now reflect the national US average of 4.20/gallon, and yet failed to notice the dead man sitting mummified at the counter for all of these years, but she puts it out of her mind as unimportant. When she's done, the alien goggles. "Five hundred and forty dollars?" he yelps. "That's robbery!" "Trouble in the supply chain," says Sara. "Ron Paul. Supply and Demand. Peak Oil. Ron Paul. Let the free market decide. Ron Paul '08." She holds her hand out and rubs her fingers together meaningfully."Will you take a check?" says the alien. "Get real," she says. Cursing, he counts out five c-notes and a pair of twenties, then closes the porthole angrily. The UFO rises straight up in a cloud of green-glowing patchouli and disappears off to to the east. Sara crows in triumph and holds up the handful of bills. Jasper gives her a thumbs-up.
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The Living End
8/16/2008 7:06:29 PM
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