Extend-a-Story: Fun and Educational!

Sara and Jasper sit on ice chests, listening in queer fascination to the strange man in the washroom.

"It's time to bake a brownie!" he roars. "Let's bake a potato! Unilateral carpet bombing! I'm choking a darkie! The barbarians are at the gate! Time to squirt some mud! There's a big brown man knocking at the back door, and he wants in BAD! Bomb the bowl! Cookin' a brown carrot!"

"How long has it been since he started?" asks Jasper. He takes a swallow of his beer.

Sara checks her watch. "Oh...about twenty minutes or so, give or take."

"And he still hasn't repeated himself?" "Nope," says Sara. "I...I think he's like a force of nature, actually."

"Cookin' a meatloaf in the porcelain saucepan! Time to debulk! Drill for mud bunnies! Drop a brown trout! Droppin' anchor! Enjoy a meatball sandwich!" The sound of the loudest, juiciest flatulence imaginable echoes around the store like Hell's own calliope. "WHOAH--Anal salute! Blow the big brown horn! Floatin' an air biscuit!" he bellows in his gravelly voice, switching tracks for a moment. "Offloadin' some freight! Parkin' breakfast! Paintin' the bowl! Releasing payload! Makin' a new Texan! DROPPING ORDINANCE!"

"For some reason, I find this fascinating, and it deeply disturbs me," says Jasper. Sara nods.

"I'm not sure I want to be here when he comes out," she says, worried.

[With God as my witness...I did not realize that there were so MANY ... o.O]

1. He continues in this way for quite a long time, defying all laws of logic and reason.
2. Presently he finishes and comes out in a rolling wave of the most godawful vicious stink they've ever smelled, still the fattest guy they've ever seen moving under his own power but noticeably thinner. "WOOOO! Do NOT go in there!" he bellows.
3. The restroom explodes in a massive fireball. Apparently he REALLY had to go.
4. Jasper and Sara decide they don't want to be there when the weirdo comes out and leave.
5. A tidal wave of tribbles explodes from the room.
6. The fat guy comes out. "There's a restaurant behind the store, and you're both coming for lunch!!" he yells.

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