When Juggalo Attack

Their prey reduced to shreds, the Juggalos' bloodlust is still unsated. And like all hungry beasts, they are only too willing to look for new prey.

Their nearsighted eyes settle on...Eminem.

Creased tongues snake out and lick cracked, bloody lips in slow lust..and growing hunger, as greasy, blackhead-encrusted nostrils twitch at the scent of fresh meat. Meat standing only a few feet away.

"Meat..." moans one in front.

"No...I'm your leader! YOUR LEADER!" Eminem yells, backing slowly away. Their lips skin back from their teeth in a snarl; their bloated, pimpled, greasepaint-covered faces twist into leering masks of insatiable hunger and rage, their tiny eyes glinting with hate. "I MADE YOU!" screams Eminem, his hands up in a warding gesture.

Eminem was unwise in his choice of allies, for those who seek to command the Juggalo never do so safely, or for long.

Eminem is fast--he actually manages to get a dozen yards before the mass of Juggalos, slow as sin except in the rush to find food, bears him to the ground. The air is filled with the sounds of terrified screams, abruptly cut short. And then only the ripping and tearing noises of the Juggalos at their ghastly feast remain.

1. Ther Juggalos rampage across America. The National Guard is activated!
2. Let's watch as Buffy the Jaggalo Slayer kicks their asses.
3. No, let's stay with Sara and Jasper--what are they doing after witnessing such a horrific sight?
4. Their dark work done, the Juggalos return to their horrific realm...a place called Detroit. A primatologist follows them in secret, narrating a doctumentary about their strange lives and habits.
5. Josh and Scott wander into the scene, somehow survive the Juggalos, and then die in some horrifically stupid way, as prophecy foretold.

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