Stage Duel

Fred and Astra carefully walked on stage, in order not to disturb their percarious "clothing." The strings lining the banana skins were starting to come loose, and dampness and slipperiness of the skins was becoming unpleasant. Astra and Fred bowed to the crowd carefully. The murmering in the crowd quieted. For an awkward ten seconds, Fred and Astra stared at the crowd, and then each other, trying to figure out what to do.

Then Astra gave a slight nod of her head, and placed the haft of her knife underneath her left arm, and walked up to Fred. She then slapped Fred across the face with her open right hand.

Fred opened his mouth wide in surprise, and started to clutch his knife, when he caught a quick wink from Astra. He had no idea what Astra was doing, but he would play along for now.

Then Astra bellowed, in a military cadence, "Fred, you are a liar. You are a coward. You are a poltroon."

Fred responded, "What is a poltroon?"

Some men in the audience started to chuckle.

Astra replied, "A poltroon is even more cowardly than a normal coward. You are a puppy."

"A puppy?" replied Lord Fred, dumbfounded by Astra's strange language. "But puppies are cute and nice."

"But they are not men. Just like you - a male, perhaps, but not a man."

Fred raised his knife, and Astra gave a short shake of her head, as if to say, "I know what I am doing - do not attack." And then she said, "I demand satisfaction."

The audience broke out in laughter.

Astra then

1. dropped off the stage and into the audience.
2. continued the charade of challenging Fred to an old-fashioned duel.

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