Cry, Cry, Cry Again

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 78934

The skunk-girl's musk is everywhere--in your nose, in your eyes, in your mouth and throat. Your tongue is coated with it. The smell has overtones of exploded septic tank, rotten cabbage, and exploded oil refinery, coupled with the salty-sour smell of a thousand paper mills and just a hint of burning sulfur, dissolved in vinegar and butyric acid and boiled down to a hundredth of its former volume, then compressed into a spray bottle and directed up your nose with a small, yet high-powered fan...times a thousand. Unbelievably it tastes even worse than it smells...

..and it burns. Oh dear God in heaven does it burn. Worse than straight tabasco, worse than concentrated habernero essence, worse than tear gas and poison oak and spider bites. Your eyes are pouring tears, leaving you blind as a bat. You whoop and gag for breath, past the swelling membranes of your throat and lungs, and gag as you taste and smell more of it. Your skin itches and burns horribly wherever it lands. You'd glady cut your own skin off in patches and gouge out your eyes with a spoon if it only got rid of the pain...and the STINK! You thrash around on the floor and weep, even as the EMT's hold your hands and try to keep you from clawing at your eyes.

"Dear Jesus...what the hell did you do to him?" you hear distantly.

"I don't know--I just sprayed him! He surprised me! I didn't use that much! I-I wasn't trying to hurt him, I just wanted to get him off the stage!"

"Get him Benadryl and some water for his eyes NOW!"

"Water won't cut it--you'll need peroxide and baking soda."

You thrash and weep as the paramedics try to figure out what to do.

  1. The peroxide and baking soda help. You're tossed out on your keister afterwards.
  2. ...with the skunkette, who's just been fired. Seems this has happened before, and management takes a dim view of the dancers spraying customers.
  3. ...and the two of you find yourself in the Staircase Room.
  4. You die of a massive anaphylactic reaction.
  5. Elmer Fudd breaks down the wall with a tank.

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The Living End (All work and no AC makes Jack a very annoyed boy. I fucking hate hot weather)

7/14/2008 12:30:51 AM

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