In a Wood Full of Princes, Freedom is a Kiss - But the Prince Hides His Face From Dreams in the Mist

The Never Ending Quest - Episode 78847

You have exactly 8 Billion dollars in cash in the form of two crisp, fresh-from-the-bank-vault bills emblazoned with the image of what looks to be none other than Scott Chen, looking rather dictatorial, on the front and a very large tower on the back. When held up to a light, a watermark in the form of a spiraling staircase is revealed, plunging through the mysterious tower. It is this very watermark the friendly (and, more importantly, CUTE and possibly OF AGE) cashier examines after you impulsively fork over the precious tender

“Okay, just another 550 million and we’ll be square,” she says with a smile, tucking the money away into the appropriate slot in her register.

You show her your wallet with an awkward smile. “That’s all I got,” you sigh.

She shrugs and reaches into the ‘give a penny take a penny’ bowl. “Don’t sweat it. I got you covered.” She hands you the extra large cup, even though you only asked for a medium, and winks. You return the wink and saunter over to the soda fountain with a newfound spring to your step, feeling a little...saucy.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T TAKE MAGIC: THE GATHERING cards as payment!? NO! NO NO! NOOOOOO! OH GOD. NO! I NEED MY MEATBALLS! I NEED MY SPICY MEATBALLS!”

You nearly spill your half-filled cup (well, more like BARREL) of diet-pepsi (this Subway doesn’t serve Coke products) as the sound of Josh’s shrill, mind-shattering screams pierce the air of the peaceful sandwich joint like a razor edged katana slicing through silk curtains in the able hands of a samurai warrior or a harpoon piercing the eyeball of a big fat stupid whale. Only Josh is no samurai and this air sure as Hell aint silk (whatever that means). Also there's no whales. You turn abruptly, only to see him playing a game of tug a war with two employees over a foot-long meatball sub.

  1. Ignore it. Just ignore it. Eat your sandwish, drink your soda, wash down the rest of the plastic action figures lodged in your throat, and flirt with cashier.
  2. Jesus enters the shop covered in gravy. He seems calm. "Sup," he says with a lazy surfer drawl. The gravy smells of bacon. You consider licking him.
  3. You sit down at a random table and glance down at today's newspaper. The headline reads: Thousands Die As Truckload of Nitroglycerine Careens Off Icy Mountain Road In The Middle of July - WTF IS GOING ON!?
  4. For some strange reason, you decide to stick up for Josh. You point out that his cards are lamenated. Plus Josh has an actual Black Lotus!
  5. Seeing that Josh has a black lotus, you physically assault him. Grateful employees offer you his sandwich and an AK-47.
  6. The same fly as before alights itself upon your nose. Again, you swat it away.

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7/7/2008 6:27:32 PM

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